The bar chart below shows the results of a survey and shows factors affecting work performance

The figure illustrates the percentages behind the reasons that impact the

overall

Linking Words

quality of work based on a single survey

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

distributing them among two age groups; the first one is young people between 18 to 30 old and the other one is from 45 to 60 years old.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is notable that younger citizens are

moslty

Correct your spelling

mostly

driven by the opportunity

Change preposition

for

show examples

their professional development

according to

Linking Words

more than 80% of people who took the

qeustionnaire

Correct your spelling

questionnaire

. Meanwhile, most of the older

employeed

Correct your spelling

employed

employees

employee

population have the motivation to work because of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

financial needs. Despite that working security is least affecting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the groups (45- 60) with less than 40%, it impacts the other group's performance with approximately 50%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the older community care less about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

promotions

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the younger

emplyees

Correct your spelling

employees

who are affected by promotion prospects

with

Change preposition

show examples

more than 80%. Team spirit alongside the working environment

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

both age groups' productivity with the same

proportations

Correct your spelling

proportion

, with about 70% and 30% respectively.

makahlehaseelTue Dec 26 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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The bar chart below shows the results of a survey and shows factors affecting work performance

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Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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