tudents perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#tudents #school

Some people

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

that

students

should be awarded in school to see their better performance

while

others believe in punishment. I partially agree with

this

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

and will discuss

further

my views.

Firsty

Correct your spelling

Firstly

First

, No doubt everyone should get awarded whether

its

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it's

it is

show examples

a student or a working professional. Motivation is the key to

boost

Wrong verb form

boosting

show examples

energy

Add an article

the energy

show examples

level of

Change the article

show examples

individual.Motivation can be done through

award

Fix the agreement mistake

awards

show examples

, appreciation

letter

Fix the agreement mistake

letters

show examples

speech

Fix the agreement mistake

speeches

show examples

for their best performance.

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

other

students

are

also

willing to give their best to get

award

Correct article usage

an award

show examples

next time.

For instance

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show examples

It is shown in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research

Change preposition

show examples

harvard

Change the capitalization

Harvard

show examples

university

Correct word choice

that

show examples

those

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

who is rewarding more their

students

are performing well in

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

or in other activities as well. Rewarding

pupil

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pupils

show examples

is a good way

for

Change preposition

show examples

encourage them to do

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

better.

On the other hand

, Punishment is

also

important for

students

otherwise

they will not be afraid

in doing

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to do

show examples

anything wrong. During school days kids are not mature enough to see the difference

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apply

show examples

between good and wrong things.

In addition

, if nobody

will stop

Wrong verb form

stops

show examples

punish

Correct subject-verb agreement

punishes

show examples

them

Change preposition

for

show examples

doing wrong things

then

they will become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

one day.

for example

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

if In conclusion , Awards or rewards

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

good way to keep

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

motivation level up but punishment is

also

required to stop them

Change preposition

from

show examples

doing bad things.

Submitted by preetiaug25 on Tue Dec 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure that should be improved for better coherence. Present ideas in a more organised manner

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved for clarity. Consider refining the thesis statement and summarising your views more effectively in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

You need to support your main points with more relevant examples and explanations. Aim to deepen your analysis of each point.

task achievement

While you addressed the task, you need to provide a more complete response. Cover all parts of the prompt in more detail and balance both views.

task achievement

Your ideas are somewhat clear but they need to be developed more comprehensively. Expanding on your points will enhance your essay's effectiveness.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to demonstrate your points. This will make your essay appear more convincing and rooted in reality.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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tudents perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Word Count

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

The plans below shows a home and plans for its redevelopment.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.