These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #area #adults #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Through socialization and civilization,

high

Change the article

a high

the high

show examples

number of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are immigrated

Change to the active voice

immigrate

have immigrated

show examples

to urban

areas

Use synonyms

from various

suburb

Fix the agreement mistake

suburbs

show examples

Although

Linking Words

migrating towards town has helped in maintaining quality of life by getting various opportunities for employment, it has certainly concentrated the population in specific

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

of the globe and

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

certainly some negative impacts upon those

areas

Use synonyms

. Through

this

Linking Words

essay, I will be discussing both the positive and negative aspects of migration and point out the reasons why its drawbacks exceed its benefits.

To begin

Linking Words

with, normally

people

Use synonyms

who are qualified and professional

migrated

Wrong verb form

migrate

show examples

towards towns for proper employment opportunities as per their skills and

qualification

Fix the agreement mistake

qualifications

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

case, the movement of those

people

Use synonyms

helps in enhancing and promoting the metropolitan and its development.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are living in villages

areas

Use synonyms

of Nepal

specially

Rephrase

especially

show examples

migrated towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cities like Kathmandu, Pokhara and Biratnagar. Most of the

people

Use synonyms

who tend to move to those cities are mostly highly educated, skilled and qualified.

This

Linking Words

certainly helps to increase

industrialization

Correct article usage

the industrialization

show examples

and modernization of those cities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it has some cons for the public

as well as

Linking Words

the earth. Continuous migration towards urban

areas

Use synonyms

caused

over population

Correct your spelling

overpopulation

show examples

which

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in pollution towards that

area

Use synonyms

. Industrialization and modernization

products

Replace the word

produce

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

various pollution including air, water, land, and noise.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it vacant the small

areas

Use synonyms

from where

people

Use synonyms

are migrating time and again.

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

results in

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of skilled and qualified manpower.

Likewise

Linking Words

, the

people

Use synonyms

living in that

area

Use synonyms

will be receiving few facilities and amenities as very few

people

Use synonyms

would be living in that

area

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

would cause demolition of that

area

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

, based on the arguments cited above, in my view, the demerits of

people

Use synonyms

moving from one place to another overshadow the merits in

long

Correct article usage

the long

show examples

term. In

this

Linking Words

case, it is necessary for the government to implement

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

policies that would help in reducing the migration of the

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by sub.ranji on Tue Dec 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

You made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument and concluded with your own viewpoint, which addresses the task. However, the position could be better clarified throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, to strongly convey a consistent response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the logical structuring of the essay by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, which will introduce the main idea unequivocally. Avoid grouping contrasting ideas in a single paragraph to maintain clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Include more detailed examples and explanations to better support your main points. This will help to develop your ideas more fully and make your argument more convincing.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

metropolitan
migration
globalization
socio-economic factors
traditional norms
cosmopolitan environment
brain drain
assimilation
gentrification
alienation
multiculturalism
infrastructure strain

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?
Advocates argue in favour of the positive trend of international travel, whereas detractors maintain a contrary perspective. I am of the belief that individuals frequently aspire to pursue opportunities abroad for purposes related to employment or education, perceiving such endeavours as advantageous for enhancing their personal circumstances.
5.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a professional fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
In recent years, many individuals across the world have relied more and more on private fitness instructors as a form of exercise as opposed to the traditional way of sports participation and joining active exercise classes. This is mainly because personal instructors offer the best results due to their expertise and access to modern types of equipment; thus, making it a much more beneficial initiative.
4.5
band
The diagram details the process of making smoked fish
The provided picture gives information about how smoked fish is made.
4
band
Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Fun fact. It would seen many years we are talking about digital transformation. Nevetheless, some companies haven't finished this process. As I could see, some of them are trying to start with everything at the same time, but, in my opinion, it could lead to more complexity. For example, if you don't have a clear, reliable, transperance, and manageble data, no one Data lake will help your business. And I see the following activitieas as the first step of inventory and creating the basment for the successful transormation:
5.5
band
In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?
In some parts of the world, secondary schools prefer teaching children general knowledge on various subjects whilst others believe that it is better to expose children to the specific classes that may prepare them for a distinct career. While it may be seen reasonable to rely on one area, I believe that learning general information is more beneficial.

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a professional fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

The diagram details the process of making smoked fish

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?