Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss these two views and give your opinion.
It would be argued by some that
newcomers
should establish minority
Correct article usage
a minority
community
to maintain their own cultures. In my opinion, however
, they should blend to
the local Change preposition
into
culture
of host nations.
On the one
hand, there are a number of reasons why some believe that newcomers
should establish minority
Correct article usage
a minority
community
to maintain their own cultures. One
of the main reason
, when they establish a Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
minority
community
, it will help newcomers
do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
have
Verb problem
be
embarrassment
or the feeling of being like a fish out of water. Replace the word
embarrassed
One
of different
Correct article usage
the different
reason
, they create a Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
minority
community
for immigrants to lead to preserving the traditions of their folk, help them not missing
motherland and Wrong verb form
miss their
can
attract native residents and visitors Verb problem
apply
have
more knowledge about their traditions and Fix the infinitive
to have
custom
in their motherland.
On the Fix the agreement mistake
customs
one
hand, I would argue that immigrants should adopt to
indigenous Change preposition
apply
culture
. In my opinion, as the saying goes “When in Rome, do as Romans do”, it is beneficial for groups of newcomers
to adopt to
indigenous Change preposition
apply
culture
. People merge into the tradition of the locals, resulting in an increase in the number of job opportunities and a decline in the ratio of discriminated or treated. This
may help them develop and strengthen businesses, their kids will be educated in a healthy environment where they can communicate with numerous people of
other countries. Another reason is they can be convenient for working Change preposition
from
together with
native locals to gain a great deal of life experience and the likelihood of working in cross-cultural
environment.
In conclusion, Add an article
a cross-cultural
although
some people think that immigrants should adopt the local culture
when leaving motherland
to resettle in a new country, I personally believe that integrating local lifestyles brings more benefits for Correct pronoun usage
their motherland
newcomers
.Submitted by insighttribez on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has an identifiable structure, but the paragraphs are not well developed, and the ideas are not always logically organized or connected. Work on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and use a range of cohesive devices effectively.
Task Achievement
The task is somewhat responded to, with both views discussed and a personal opinion provided. However, the ideas are not fully extended or well supported with specific examples. Aim to cover all parts of the question and extend your supporting points fully to demonstrate your command of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.