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Band 2

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT CARS ARE THE BEST WAY TO TRAVEL IN A CITY WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT BICYCLES ARE BETTER. DISCUSS BOTH POINTS OF VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#people #cars #travel #city #bicycles #points
Nowadays
convance
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convince
connivance
conveyance
facility
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facilities
show examples
 and Health are equally important for everyone but few people think,
Car
 is better for travelling
where as
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whereas
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 few believe that
bicycle
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a bicycle
show examples
 is more
benificial
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beneficial
. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
 travelling
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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depends on the distance and desire of the way of comfort. because by
Car
 everyone can cover longer
distance
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distances
show examples
 and
also
 travel will all friends or family members
along with
this
 by
car
 carry the essential things and get the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 in unapropriate wheather or polution related problems.
While
 travelling by
car
, we can carry our
usefull
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useful
 stuff and can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
chit chat
to
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with
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 each other, even if someone is feeling lazy or
seek
Wrong verb form
seeking
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 and
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to sleep, he or she can take
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
show examples
 with
proper
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a proper
the proper
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 nap.
Finally
, I believe that both vehicles
are having
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have
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 merits and demerits of travelling,
this
 is all about the requirements of
particular
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the particular
a particular
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 situation. people think based on their own motive
therefore
 I would
recomend
Correct your spelling
recommend
 the
car
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that we can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 our maximum goals and can explore new and unknown places with our family
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
 and friends
where as
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whereas
show examples
 by cycle some
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
 are there which
bound
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are bound
show examples
 us to save time or cover the distance and explore the area.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay does not maintain a consistent logical structure throughout. It's important to present a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a coherent conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting details are relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You should provide a well-balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. The opinion must be clear and well-supported by specific, relevant examples. Avoid general or vague statements. To achieve a higher score, expand on the discussion by presenting examples, results, and comparisons which directly relate to the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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