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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990. 2000 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990. 2000 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The figure illustrates the
overall
Linking Words
 amount of produced
milk
Use synonyms
 in the years 1990, 2000 and 2010, particularly in four countries; the
Nethrlands
Correct your spelling
Netherlands
, Australia,
Tanazania
Correct your spelling
Tanzania
 and Guatemala.
Overall
Linking Words
, during the three decades, the Netherlands ranked as the highest nation in producing milky products,
while
Linking Words
 Guatemala recorded the lowest
proprotions
Correct your spelling
proportion
proportions
 of these products.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
Nethrelands'
Correct your spelling
Netherlands'
rated
Replace the word
rate
show examples
 remained steady with more than 11 million
litres
Use synonyms
 of
milk
Use synonyms
 annually in the three years. The second most dairy-producing nation was Australia, by milking more than 11 million
litres
Use synonyms
 in both years; 1990 and 2000,
however
Linking Words
, a
sligh
Correct your spelling
slight
 decrease
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the net dairy outcomes in 2010 producing 9,165,00
litres
Use synonyms
 of
milk
Use synonyms
. When it comes to Tanzania's figures, it
significanlty
Correct your spelling
significantly
 grew from 87
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 liters in 1990 to more than one million
litres
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 the country achieved a peak of 1,55,000 in 2010. Guatemala's experience in
milk
Use synonyms
 production
doubles
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 its
growuth
Correct your spelling
growth
 between 1990 and 2000, as it rose from 26,000
litres
Use synonyms
 to 55,000,
then
Linking Words
 the production levels
also
Linking Words
 increased reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
84,000
litres
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, litres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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