The graph below shows how people buy music. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#people #music #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The given graph gives information about how many rates of individuals bought music in distinctive devices from 2011 to 2018.

Overall

it is clear that

the percentages of

steams

Correct subject-verb agreement

steam

show examples

had the lowest

whereas

CDs purchased were dominant at the beginning of the period.

In addition

, downloads witnessed a small fall despite some fluctuations over the period.

Initially

, CDs

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the most popular among the people and it was the highest trend just under 50% in 2011.

Nevertheless

, there was a noticeable decline to around 20% till the end of the period.

Moreover

, the shares of purchasing streams was almost 3 % in 2011 but it increased slightly year by year. There was a rise to 20% in 2015 and reached 40 % in 2018.

Furthermore

, downloads

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

around 30% and 40% until 2014.

Last

but not least, the picture for figure downloads went down noticeably to 30% in 2018.

Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on Tue Dec 26 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

149 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows how people buy music. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The major cities in around the world continue growth, the more problems they may have. What the problems young people are caused by develop? What can be done to solve this?

In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others belive that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people prefer watch foreign film rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should government give more financial support to local movie industries?