A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

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Tourism
plays a pivotal role which provides many places with essential
income
. The devastating impact of
tourism
can
also
pose a threat to society if it is not managed effectively.
This
essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
tourism
and provide a logical conclusion. I have a strong conviction that
tourism
has drawbacks more than advantages. At the outset, the upsurge
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
income
has been linked to the acclivity of
tourism
. When large tourists come to the country, they will discover different areas, go to restaurants,
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
shopping,
consequently
, they will spend large quantities of money which in return can be used in useful sectors
such
as public services.
For example
, if
this
income
is directed to refurbishing old hospitals, building highways, paving routes or sanitation,
this
will favour the citizens and foster a sense of relief and satisfaction.
Subsequently
, when people experience their rights, they will be encouraged to work more, reach their full potential, and increase their productivity.
However
, these benefits can be achieved with local funds without the need for
tourism
's
income
because excessive
tourism
has a deteriorating effect on society. In sharp contrast to that, in my opinion, unmanaged
tourism
has more disadvantages, which are the leap of carbon dioxide emissions, and marine
pollution
. When a significant majority of
tourism
comes to the country and
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
to transport from one place to another using more private transport,
this
will inevitably lead to the growth of
co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
show examples
emissions and methane emissions, which can lead to incurable environmental
pollution
due to
the upward pattern of green gas house footprint.
Secondly
, these harmful gases will reach the oceans, rivers and coasts,
consequently
, water will be polluted by toxins resulting in the death of fishes.
Furthermore
,
this
pollutionpollution
Correct your spelling
pollution pollution
pollution-pollution
will decrease the labour force because their main product, which is fish, is not alive anymore. In conclusion,
Although
tourism
can thrive
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
country by guaranteeing large
income
to be used in public conservations, it can lead to environmental hazards
such
as air
pollution
and water
pollution
.
Submitted by massaasaad7 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction does not present an opinion that is contrary to the one in the main body paragraphs. This creates an inconsistency in the argument. The introduction should clearly state the opinion that will be supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer logical progression of ideas. One way to improve this is by using linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages within the body paragraphs. Your essay seemed to favor one side significantly more than the other without proper exploration of the opposing view.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Generic statements without detailed examples do not sufficiently demonstrate the concept or issue being discussed.
task achievement
Work on developing a more structured conclusion that summarises your main points and clearly states your opinion on whether the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks, as the question asks.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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