Some people argue that companies and private individual rather than government should pay the bills of pollution. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Environmental quandaries are
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
issue which needs suitable consideration.
While
some people believe that it is necessary for corporations and individuals to charge for
polluting
Replace the word
pollution
show examples
, others argue that the
government
should
be investigated
Wrong verb form
investigate
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
problem. I tend to disagree with paying bills
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
, and in
this
essay, I will support my view with examples.
To begin
with, the
government
is responsible for a lot of sections of our society in various ways, because they can set numerous rules in our lives.
Due to
these rules, they
also
can reduce
Correct article usage
the amounts
show examples
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
show examples
of dirtiness. If they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
set appropriate laws other parts of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
suffer
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For example
, a lot of big companies should be considered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
officials for the reason that they can produce
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
measure of waste which can be very detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
humans’
Change noun form
humans
show examples
lives.
Moreover
, as long as the number of families
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
buying cars and using vehicles
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
when individuals are alone will be rosen, and it causes global warming and pollution,
while
the regime can decrease these kinds of problems.
However
, there are different factories and private individual which produce products that can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
some petrochemical companies are produced many outputs which consist
Change preposition
of detriment
show examples
detriment
Replace the word
detrimental
show examples
chemical
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
, and they may thrown
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the sea,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
the
government
can check their work and determine some punishments for them. In conclusion, it is true that corporations produce a large amount of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
, but in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
it is the duty of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to address these issues and decline
measure
Correct article usage
the measure
show examples
of waste.
Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay has several deficiencies, such as a lack of clear paragraphing and poor usage of linking phrases. It is crucial to use paragraphs to organize your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should have a single, coherent point that is then elaborated on.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but fail to succinctly present and summarise the main argument of the essay in a clear manner. A clear thesis statement in the introduction and summary of main points in the conclusion are necessary to effectively frame an essay.
task achievement
Despite some mention of examples, these are not developed adequately. Future essays should include clear, specific, and relevant examples for each point made, thereby supporting the arguments more convincingly.
task achievement
The response partially answers the prompt but the development of ideas is superficial. It is essential to fully explore and elaborate on your points, ensuring that they are clear and comprehensive. Expand on the core arguments with more nuanced discussion and analysis.
coherence cohesion
You should incorporate a broader range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures, which are essential for a higher score in coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: