In many cities an increaing number of people do not knowtheir neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?
There is no doubt significant number of
community
living is part of human civilisation. In several cities around the globe
many Add a comma
globe,
people
are stranger
to Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
thier
Correct your spelling
their
nighbours
and Correct your spelling
neighbours
lack
of sense of Correct article usage
the lack
community
also
increasing. In this
essay, I will discuss the reason for this
problem and some suggestion
to resolve Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
this
issue
.
To begin
with, the
one of the major Correct article usage
apply
reason
for Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
this
issue
is busy
Add an article
the busy
a busy
life style
of the Correct your spelling
lifestyle
people
. There are
high competition and work pressure are affecting the lifestyle of common Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
. For example
, a recent study in UK
indicated thatCorrect article usage
the UK
Change the article
a
the
people
does
not have Correct subject-verb agreement
do
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
work life
balance. Add a hyphen
work-life
As a result
, the community
time will be compramissed
and they would be stranger to the local Correct your spelling
compressed
people
. Furthermore
, due to
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
influences, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are living in an imaginary world, moreover
, the immense time spending
Replace the word
spent
in
social Change preposition
on
media
causes lack
Correct article usage
a lack
to
time to involve in Change preposition
of
the
society. The advancement of technology Correct article usage
apply
help
to interact virtually but it Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
is
Verb problem
has
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
the
direct communication and interaction within Correct article usage
apply
the
society.
To resolve Correct article usage
apply
this
issue
government should initiate more community oriented
programs Add a hyphen
community-oriented
and
which might attract Correct word choice
apply
people
to act more effectively. For example
, the city carnival and christmas
markets are the best example to encourage Change the capitalization
Christmas
people
to active
within the Add a missing verb
be active
community
. Moreover
the awareness about the overuse of social Add a comma
Moreover,
media
would be beneficial to encourage people
interact
physically. It is Add the particle
to interact
belived
that Correct your spelling
believed
yougster
are mostly using social Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
media
website
to Fix the agreement mistake
websites
develope thier
social connections. Correct your spelling
develop their
Campign
in the school would Correct your spelling
Camping
be help
to reduce the addiction Change the verb form
help
of
social Change preposition
to
media
.
In conclusion, Busy life style
and Correct your spelling
lifestyles
over use
of social Correct your spelling
overuse
media
are the major reasons to
the Change preposition
apply
people
are hesitated
for direct contact with Change to the active voice
hesitate
have hesitated
the
local Correct article usage
apply
people
. The effective
social programs and Correct article usage
Effective
campigns
would be useful Correct your spelling
campaigns
to
Change preposition
in
resove
Correct your spelling
resolving
this
issue
.Submitted by ck.manshad on
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task achievement
The essay provides a reasonable attempt at outlining the causes and solutions to the lack of community in cities. However, the ideas are sometimes underdeveloped and there's a lack of specific examples to enhance the arguments. Ensure that each body paragraph is developed with a clear main idea, followed by specific examples or explanation to support it.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The logical progression of ideas is somewhat evident, but the cohesion could be improved. Considering the use of cohesive devices to logically connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Also, proofread for run-on sentences, and try to vary sentence structure to enhance readability.
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