In the current society,many people are struggling with obesity. What are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

#society #people #obesity #effects

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Obese

Replace the word

Obesity

show examples

has become a common problem with

people

Use synonyms

around the world. There are several reasons for more

people

Use synonyms

become obese in recent times and I will explain why

this

Linking Words

happens and

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

impacts

Fix the agreement mistake

impact

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue in the below paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, unhealthy eating habits

make

Wrong verb form

have made

show examples

everyone gain weight

happens

Verb problem

apply

show examples

easily in recent times. Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

are

started

Wrong verb form

starting

show examples

addict

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

easily with junk foods like pizza,

burger

Fix the agreement mistake

burgers

show examples

, sugary drinks, and frozen non-vegetarian foods comparatively old ancient

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, if individual

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

are going for

Correct article usage

a long-journey

show examples

long-journey

Correct your spelling

long journey

show examples

they cannot take food with handy so they will order online with different applications and

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of cuisines and starters easily.

Moreover

Linking Words

, humans are not doing physical activities

with

Change preposition

show examples

regular

Correct article usage

a regular

show examples

basis in today’s lifestyle

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, some

persons are working

Wrong verb form

people work

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

remote

Correct article usage

a remote

show examples

basis at home so they can’t cook easily from home with a lot of

tensions

Fix the agreement mistake

tension

show examples

and pressure work, for that conditions

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

feel to go buffet foods at rich

restaurant

Fix the agreement mistake

restaurants

show examples

. There will be many complications for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

who

becomes

Correct subject-verb agreement

become

show examples

obese.

Firstly

Linking Words

, simple issues cannot

tackle

Wrong verb form

be tackled

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

easily in healthier

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, they will face other health problems like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Recently, many humans

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

facing Heart

attack

Fix the agreement mistake

attacks

show examples

by-pass

Correct your spelling

bypass

show examples

surgery, and paralysis. In World Health Organization confirmed more than 80 percent of

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

who died

show examples

died

Wrong verb form

die

show examples

every year

due to

Linking Words

heart

attack

Fix the agreement mistake

attacks

show examples

are those who have obesity problems.

To conclude

Linking Words

, in recent times obesity

causing

Wrong verb form

has caused

show examples

many problems for

people

Use synonyms

around the world and it is even leading to death when it is not taken care of for a longer period of time. Jaan W1.txt Displaying Jaan W1.txt.

Submitted by mailramkrish on Tue Dec 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout. Organize your ideas into well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and ensure that the connection between ideas is seamless, supporting your main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion should be clear and distinctly outline your essay's main points. The introduction should introduce the topic and your main arguments, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your essay without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

To better support your main points, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single idea, which is then elaborated upon with specific examples and well-explained reasoning. Avoid overgeneralization and make your arguments convincing by providing concrete evidence.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response is complete. Include an analysis of the causes and effects of the issue in question and fully develop your ideas. Avoid partially responding to the prompt by discussing the topic comprehensively.

task achievement

Work on expressing your ideas clearly and comprehensively. This involves providing complete answers to the questions posed and ensuring that your reasoning is logical and understandable. Avoid ambiguity by being as precise and explicit as possible in your explanations and examples.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be directly related to the topic and should be used to effectively support and elaborate on your arguments. Avoid using vague references and ensure that your examples clearly demonstrate the point you are trying to make.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
genetic predisposition
exacerbated
nutrient-deficient
caloric intake
socioeconomic factors
psychological factors
chronic diseases
discrimination
healthcare costs
stigma

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
people doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing that sports. Do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary times, human beings enjoy indulging in adventurous sports activities. Some believe that these actions can be life-threatening and people should be liable for their own safety. Moreover, the rescue team should not be engaged in case of any mishap. In my opinion , I tend to partially agree with this statement as it should involve both parties.
<4
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advatnages adn disadvantages of giving children this message?
Children had been told that they can obtain anything if they are work hardly. This practice is certain community have pros and cons which I will explain this essay
6
band
In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What is the reason for this Is this a positive or negative development
In recent years, the way we used to do physical training has changed completely. Many people around the world often hire a personal fitness trainer who can train them, and they are reluctant to play games and other physical group activities. I feel that it is a negative development due to a compelling reason, which I will explain in the forthcoming paragraphs with relevant examples.
5.5
band
the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The cost of vehicles is a hotly debated topic that often divides opinion. While some people believe that maximising the fuel cost is the best way to save money, others think there are also other solutions. I think that, despite the convenience it brings, people should not raise the cost of fuel vehicles too much.
4.5
band
The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,andmake comparisons where relevant.
The two maps depict the transformation of a coastal harbor's arrangement from the year 2000 to the present.

In the current society,many people are struggling with obesity. What are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Fully explain your ideas

people doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing that sports. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advatnages adn disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What is the reason for this Is this a positive or negative development

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,andmake comparisons where relevant.