IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, renting homes is preferred to buying homes. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home.

#countries #homes #home
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In some states,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to rent property rather than
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 it. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the
economycal
Correct your spelling
economical
economic
 conditions that
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not support the housing price to go down.
This
Linking Words
 makes renting
sounds
Correct subject-verb agreement
sound
show examples
 cheaper and supports the economic conditions of workers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 are more
common
Correct word choice
likely
show examples
 these days to
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
homes
Use synonyms
 than
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
properties. With
inflation
Correct article usage
the inflation
show examples
 rate going up each year,
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
housing
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 increasing
high
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and
this
Linking Words
 is hard to approach for most individuals
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small-paying
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 in turn
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 property buying less desirable for most
people
Use synonyms
, especially with the cost of maintenance
that is
Linking Words
 not cheap.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a positive side
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 renting
homes
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can choose the most efficient apartment or
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 near their job site which will boost productivity since they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have to spend a lot of time in transportation mode.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they can move to wherever they want once the renting period has done and
this
Linking Words
 should not be a burden
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the ones with high mobility.
However
Linking Words
, the negative side is that
people
Use synonyms
 can't have a permanent
resident
Replace the word
residence
show examples
 where they can feel safe and
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
 when raising their family.
This
Linking Words
 resulted
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 kids
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
 in adapting to every new environment they are exposed to. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that there are positive and negative
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 to renting
homes
Use synonyms
, which will
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on the ones choosing to rent
homes
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 economy,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 hard to find a permanent resident with
fair
Add an article
a fair
the fair
show examples
 price
that is
Linking Words
 affordable to working
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ssannyssss on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and use a range of linking phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas. Avoid abrupt shifts in topic or argument. Prioritize clarity when presenting main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion were present, but the introduction was too brief and the overall position was not made clear. The conclusion was more effective but could be strengthened with a clearer summary of main points.
coherence cohesion
While you did provide some support for your main points, strive to include more detailed examples and evidence for a more persuasive argument. This will help fortify your discussion and provide more substance.
task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt, but it is somewhat incomplete and partially answers the question. Be sure to cover all aspects of the task and provide a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Your ideas were relevant but lacked depth and comprehensive development. Work on expanding your thoughts and providing a more thorough analysis of each point.
task achievement
Specific examples were limited, and at times, vague. Always try to provide concrete and relevant examples to illustrate your points. This adds authenticity and interest to your writing.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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