An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?
There is no denying the fact that
the
cosmetic has a significant relation to Correct article usage
apply
self satisfaction
. Add a hyphen
self-satisfaction
While
it is a commonly held belief that assending
number of people Correct your spelling
a
are
desire to change their beauty by choosing plastic Unnecessary verb
apply
surgical
. There is Replace the word
surgery
also
an arugment
that Correct your spelling
argument
the
most people Correct article usage
apply
choosing
to have Wrong verb form
choose
operation
Add an article
an operation
the operation
for
change their look Change preposition
to
.
Correct your spelling
This
this
essay will analyse this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On one hand, the accident is a directly effect on malformed of face .
In other words
, fracture of nose or jaw will occurred and may influance
of patient physically and Correct your spelling
influence
emotinal
Which is mostly needs operation to correct it, Correct your spelling
emotional
emotionally
otherwise
it will repair the shap and functional damage were happend .
In addition
, genetic problem is considered a highly recommended for surgery advanced sometimes. For example
, some children was born with cleft lip and palate which is mandatory for cosmetic surgery.
On the other hand
, nowadays trust issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
is
widespread Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Change preposition
among
in
Change preposition
among
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
teenager
, It is Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
also
possible to say that young and youth are may effect on
social media to mimic famous Verb problem
use
followrs
and follow Correct your spelling
followers
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
advertisement
. Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
Moreover
neglect
the period of childhood is cause Wrong verb form
neglecting
this
complication later. For instance
, people thought that after change
their Wrong verb form
changing
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
will
get attention and likes from outside as friends or family.
In conclusion, there are no easy Wrong verb form
would
answer
to Fix the agreement mistake
answers
this
question, on balance, however
, I tend to believe that parents are
Verb problem
play
the
crucial role Correct article usage
a
to
full emotional Change preposition
in
of
love for their sons and Change preposition
apply
give
them Wrong verb form
giving
loving
and Replace the word
love
caring
.Replace the word
care
Submitted by M on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that are well-defined and logically organized. The introduction should clearly present the topic and the writer's position, while each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea with supporting details. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's position. To improve this, create an outline before writing to ensure a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay fails to fully respond to the prompt as it does not adequately explain why more people are choosing to undergo cosmetic surgery or address whether this is a positive or negative development. To improve task achievement, make sure to answer both parts of the question directly and provide specific examples and explanations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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