Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#pollution #rivers #lakes #seas #concern #people #environment #water #effects #life #society

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Nowadays,

environment

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environmental

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problems

such

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water

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and air

pollution

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are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

significant

issue

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issues

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for all

people

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and animal

life

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. Some of the

people

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concern

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are concern

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about

this

Linking Words

trouble

whereas

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others do not

worn

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wear

show examples

it.

However

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, especially

water

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and

watery

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water

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resource

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resources

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have a considerable impact

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show examples

our

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life

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lives

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. I

aware

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am aware

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water

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pollution

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and will explain my perspective with more detail and some examples. First and foremost,

nature

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natural

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resources play

significant

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a significant

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role in all biogeography. Most of the

people

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do not have consciousness and especially they can throw away their rubbish in

water

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or anywhere. The

garbages

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garbage

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which thrown into the

water

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adversly

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adversely

affects the

life

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of aquatic organisms. Particularly, in order to

wastes

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waste

show examples

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apply

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watery resources

such

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as seas, oceans and lakes absorb by fishes in

this

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case these fishes

conclude

Verb problem

consume

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intensive heavy

metal

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metals

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In addition

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, societies that consume these fish are affected by heavy metals

such

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as mercury, molybdenum and arsenic. These metals can cause cancer when consumed for a long time.

For example

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according to

Linking Words

WHO (World Health Organization), it has been determined that the death rate

due to

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heavy metals in the world is on average 1 million per year.

Secondly

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, the major cause of

water

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pollution

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is industrial and agricultural activities. Industries often release toxic chemicals and

polllutants

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pollutants

into

water

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and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

leading to contamination.

Similarly

Linking Words

, agricultural practices

include

Wrong verb form

including

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fertilizers, pesticides and herbicides contribute to

pollution

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For instance

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, the discharge of industrial wastewater containing some harmful chemicals

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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rock oil, asbestos and cyanide into rivers can have devastating effects on aquatic

life

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and pose serious health risks to human and animal populations.

Fix the agreement mistake

Animals

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Animal

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Animals

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that

drink

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drinks

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these untreated waters are found dead on the lakesides, sometimes millions of them a year. In conclusion,

water

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pollution

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is a growing problem caused by industrial, agricultural activities and inorganic waste by

thrown

Verb problem

apply

show examples

people

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, inadequate waste management.

However

Linking Words

, with some regulations and improved waste

managaement

Correct your spelling

management

systems, we can prevent

water

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pollution

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and protect our

water

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recources

Correct your spelling

resources

Submitted by dytayseozgul on Wed Dec 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay needs to have a clearer overall logical structure. Ideas can be better organized, with clear paragraphs that each have a central topic. Make sure your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion each serve their purpose effectively.

coherence cohesion

You should introduce the topic in the first paragraph by restating the question and clearly stating what you will discuss. In the body paragraphs, ensure each main point is supported with relevant examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your overall opinion or suggest a solution.

task achievement

To fully respond to the task, ensure that you present clear and comprehensive ideas that directly relate to the causes and effects of water pollution. Your explanations need to be more developed, with a wider range of vocabulary and a clear position throughout the essay.

task achievement

Make sure to include relevant examples to support your main points. The examples given are good but need to be backed up with more specifics and possibly data to show the broader impact on animal life and human society.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contamination
industrial discharge
untreated sewage
agricultural runoff
pesticides
oil spills
microplastics
eutrophication
algal blooms
marine dumping
bioaccumulation
ecosystem
biodiversity
public health
waterborne diseases
fishing industry
tourism industry
sustainable practices
environmental regulations
waste management

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem.