IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The map reveals
two
Use synonyms
 possible
sites
Use synonyms
 for a new supermarket (s) which is planned for the town, Garlsdon.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
two
Use synonyms
sites
Use synonyms
 were far from each other since one was in the centre of the town and the other was in the countryside.
According to
Linking Words
 the information shown on the map, it can be apparently seen that both
sites
Use synonyms
 were near the railway.
Besides
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, industrial areas are closer to the
two
Use synonyms
sites
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 than housing areas.
Moreover
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, S1 was 12 km away from Hindon where the population was 10,000 .
On the other hand
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, S2 was 16km to Brangdon which had 15,000 citizens and 25 km to Crandon which had 29,000 citizens. What should be particularly mentioned is that the town centre was a no traffic zone and the population of Garlsdon was 65000 which was above 6 times that of Hindon.
To sum up
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, the
two
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sites
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 will bring benefits to different regions of people.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, sites with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • map
  • town
  • supermarket
  • site
  • overview
  • possible
  • transportation
  • access
  • surrounding
  • facilities
  • population
  • density
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