People eat more processed food now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What might be the results?
It is true that today
people
tend to eat more processed food
compared to old times. Different from many years ago people
are likely to buy ready meals
. There are a number of reasons and effects of this
phenomenon and I will discuss them in this
essay.
One of the main reasons why people
prefer processed food
is that busy lifestyles do not leave extra time
for them to prepare and cook food
at home. For example
, if someone works ten hours every day, he or she will not be able to find enough time
for preparing
dinner. Change preposition
to prepare
Thus
, in order to eat something they have to buy ready meals
from supermarkets or order it
. Another reason Correct pronoun usage
them
lies under
Verb problem
for
this
tendency for this
generation is the lack of cooking knowledge. Not only do they lack the ability to cook, but also
they have insufficient information about nutritious ingredients. That is
why individuals prefer fast food
, which is the easiest way, rather than cooking it.
Although
life conditions do not leave people
other
options Change preposition
with other
about
eating habits, Change preposition
for
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
brought
and will have many side effects on folks. Wrong verb form
bring
Firstly
, our bodies will not be as resilient as our ancestors due to
the ingredients added to processed food
. What I mean is that since our ancestors used to it mainly natural foods, which are free of chemicals, their immunity system
were much stronger as opposed to ours. Fix the agreement mistake
systems
Moreover
, our bodies will become more addicted to ready-made food
as it is believed that companies add some addictive elements so that they sell their products for a long time
. This
means that we will become dependent on those
Change the determiner
that food
food
for a long time
.
Taking everything into account, it could be concluded that a busy lifestyle and lack of cooking knowledge are the main reasons for choosing ready meals
. Also
, this
tendency will cause people
to have less healthy bodies and become addicted to processed meals
.Submitted by aydinaliyew on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While you presented ideas in a relatively clear order, it is essential to have a more cohesive thread connecting them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop main points with supported arguments or examples. You should expand on your ideas by providing more specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. You have identified reasons and results, but a deeper analysis of each point would enhance the completeness of your response.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure a comprehensive understanding. Presenting the ideas in a more detailed manner would help in making the essay more informative and impactful.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of relevant, specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you have provided general examples, more specificity would increase the effectiveness of your support.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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