People eat more processed food now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What might be the results?

#people #food #results

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It is true that today

people

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tend to eat more processed

food

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compared to old times. Different from many years ago

people

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are likely to buy ready

meals

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. There are a number of reasons and effects of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon and I will discuss them in

this

Linking Words

essay. One of the main reasons why

people

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prefer processed

food

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is that busy lifestyles do not leave extra

time

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for them to prepare and cook

food

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at home.

For example

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, if someone works ten hours every day, he or she will not be able to find enough

time

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for preparing

Change preposition

to prepare

show examples

dinner.

Thus

Linking Words

, in order to eat something they have to buy ready

meals

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from supermarkets or order

Correct pronoun usage

them

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. Another reason

lies under

Verb problem

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

tendency for

this

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generation is the lack of cooking knowledge. Not only do they lack the ability to cook, but

also

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they have insufficient information about nutritious ingredients.

That is

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why individuals prefer fast

food

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, which is the easiest way, rather than cooking it.

Although

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life conditions do not leave

people

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other

Change preposition

with other

show examples

options

about

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for

show examples

eating habits,

Correct pronoun usage

they

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brought

Wrong verb form

bring

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and will have many side effects on folks.

Firstly

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, our bodies will not be as resilient as our ancestors

due to

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the ingredients added to processed

food

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. What I mean is that since our ancestors used to it mainly natural foods, which are free of chemicals, their immunity

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

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were much stronger as opposed to ours.

Moreover

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, our bodies will become more addicted to ready-made

food

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as it is believed that companies add some addictive elements so that they sell their products for a long

time

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This

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means that we will become dependent on

those

Change the determiner

that food

show examples

food

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for a long

time

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. Taking everything into account, it could be concluded that a busy lifestyle and lack of cooking knowledge are the main reasons for choosing ready

meals

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Also

Linking Words

this

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tendency will cause

people

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to have less healthy bodies and become addicted to processed

meals

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Submitted by aydinaliyew on Wed Dec 27 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While you presented ideas in a relatively clear order, it is essential to have a more cohesive thread connecting them.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop main points with supported arguments or examples. You should expand on your ideas by providing more specific examples and evidence to illustrate your points.

Task Achievement

Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. You have identified reasons and results, but a deeper analysis of each point would enhance the completeness of your response.

Task Achievement

Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure a comprehensive understanding. Presenting the ideas in a more detailed manner would help in making the essay more informative and impactful.

Task Achievement

Incorporate a wider range of relevant, specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you have provided general examples, more specificity would increase the effectiveness of your support.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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People eat more processed food now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What might be the results?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar,wihch causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age group. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Problem /Solution Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. -What do you think are the causes of this? - What solution can you suggest?

In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.