High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? Support your point of view with relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#job #demands #stress #sense #commitment #people #work #tasks #health #support #point

In the contemporary day and age, there is a war of words regarding the belief that spending long hours at

work

leads to an increase the stress levels.Some people concur that employees should go to

work

even if they feel sick in order to fulfil the commitment that they made.

However

Change the capitalization

show examples

quibble

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

them and profound that people should give priority to health rather than

work

. The reasons in the following paragraphs will cast light on my personal perspectives

along with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and will render

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a logical conclusion. Analysing the statement and exploring

further

,multifarious reasons are there for my outlook. The first and most paramount one is with a healthy body someone cannot concentrate properly on the assigned task and it will lead to

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

the productivity.Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

It will impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their health in the worst manner

due to

fatigue that they will feel

while

working in the office.

However

, If they take a day off for one or two days

then

post their return they can do overtime to complete the same task within

provided

Add an article

the provided

a provided

show examples

time period. Probing ahead, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

plenty of other options the company can adopt which will be good for both of them.

Firstly

allow working from home.

Although

, it is not possible to to

work

from home for all professions

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

thanks to technology

such

as Team, video calls which made it possible even in the field of doctors,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

now they are

also

able to do consultations online.

In other words

, Employers should not pressurise them to

work

hard during illness.

Instead

Add a comma

Instead,

show examples

they should allow them to do

work

in their own time whenever they feel healthy . To recapitulate, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supplying that it is essential for

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

to have some rest during illness.

This

will help them to complete the same task in a more productive way.

Submitted by rajdeepbhele on Wed Dec 27 2023

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task achievement

Ensure you address all aspects of the task directly. Offer clear views and remain focused on the prompt throughout your essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve the range of cohesive devices you use to aid in the logical progression of ideas, and ensure paragraphs are well-developed.

task achievement

Use specific examples to support your points. Broad statements lack the impact of detailed, personalised examples drawn from experience or knowledge.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Incorrect word choices and sentence structures can hinder clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people believe that education and healthcare should be free of charge and funded by the government. Others think that it should be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Plagiarism in academics has become a pressing problem in many countries today. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for all types of crime. Others feel that the circumstances of an offence should be taken into account when deciding on a punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Computer Games are very popular in all ages and nationalities. Parents think, it has a little educational value and more harmful. Discuss your opinion with examples.