High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? Support your point of view with relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

In the contemporary day and age, there is a war of words regarding the belief that spending long hours at
work
leads to an increase the stress levels.Some people concur that employees should go to
work
even if they feel sick in order to fulfil the commitment that they made.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
quibble
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
them and profound that people should give priority to health rather than
work
. The reasons in the following paragraphs will cast light on my personal perspectives
along with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and will render
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a logical conclusion. Analysing the statement and exploring
further
,multifarious reasons are there for my outlook. The first and most paramount one is with a healthy body someone cannot concentrate properly on the assigned task and it will lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the productivity.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
It will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health in the worst manner
due to
fatigue that they will feel
while
working in the office.
However
, If they take a day off for one or two days
then
post their return they can do overtime to complete the same task within
provided
Add an article
the provided
a provided
show examples
time period. Probing ahead, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
plenty of other options the company can adopt which will be good for both of them.
Firstly
allow working from home.
Although
, it is not possible to to
work
from home for all professions
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
thanks to technology
such
as Team, video calls which made it possible even in the field of doctors,
As
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now they are
also
able to do consultations online.
In other words
, Employers should not pressurise them to
work
hard during illness.
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
show examples
they should allow them to do
work
in their own time whenever they feel healthy . To recapitulate, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supplying that it is essential for
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
to have some rest during illness.
This
will help them to complete the same task in a more productive way.
Submitted by rajdeepbhele on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure you address all aspects of the task directly. Offer clear views and remain focused on the prompt throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the range of cohesive devices you use to aid in the logical progression of ideas, and ensure paragraphs are well-developed.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Broad statements lack the impact of detailed, personalised examples drawn from experience or knowledge.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Incorrect word choices and sentence structures can hinder clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!