It has become easier and more affortable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Perhaps, there is no topic of controversy in
this
contemporary society worth debating as the matter of
tourism
. Indeed, people's views differ greatly as
whether
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to whether
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international
tourism
involeing
Correct your spelling
involving
other foreign countries has become more popular for
development
Add an article
the development
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of a nation
due to
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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afforable
Correct your spelling
affordable
cost and convenience. To be best of my knowledge, the merits of the phenomenon overshadow its possible clemerits. To start with, there is no shadow of a doubt that the notion holds
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
intelligible gains.
Tourism
plays a vital role in the improvement of a country's economy. First of all, since the
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
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is growing day by day, which contributes to
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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the national revenue.
This
is
favorable
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favourable
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for the country's sustainable development and competitive advantage on the global stage.
Moreover
, the more
tourism
globolized
Correct your spelling
globalized
globalised
, which triggers the amelioration in the quality of inhabitant's
live
Replace the word
lives
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. In
extensive
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an extensive
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range of countries,
citizen's
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citizens'
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livelihonds
Correct your spelling
livelihoods
depend greatly on the flow of oversea
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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.
Therefore
, the increased
international
Correct quantifier usage
number of international
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tourists will lead to employment promotion,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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directly affects to inhabitants living qualities as their income
as
Correct your spelling
has
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improved.
However
, the phenomenon might not be totally free from drawbacks. Withstanding all the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
benefits, it
have
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has
show examples
to concede that
this
situation still obtains demerits . First of foremost, the increasing number of guests
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
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along with
the rising of social evils. In some developing countries
such
as Viet Nam
where
Correct your spelling
there
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still lacks
of
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apply
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security
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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in some remote areas,
rural
Correct word choice
and rural
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areas, which encounters some
criminal
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criminals
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could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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totally
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoided
show examples
.
This
situation will become more common since they have to face
with
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apply
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a lot of pickpockets. In fact
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the happening has a potential
thread
Correct your spelling
threat
show examples
on
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to
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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. When
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
quest from one country to another, they use means of transportation
such
as
air planes
Correct your spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
which leads to air pollution
due to
gas
emission
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emissions
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from burning
foossil
Correct your spelling
fossil
fuels. In sum, it is still a matter of deliberation as
whether
Change preposition
to whether
show examples
international
tourisms
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
show examples
mere
Add a missing verb
is mere
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popular. Yet, the phenomenon's preeminence is considered to outweigh
it
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its
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drawback
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drawbacks
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, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should implement strict legislation to protect
traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
show examples
and
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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environment.
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task achievement
Be sure to clearly outline your position regarding the question posed. A clear introduction stating whether you believe the trend is positive or negative will help to guide the reader. Additionally, each paragraph should be centered around a single main point to maintain focus and clarity.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, remember to use a range of cohesive devices effectively. Paragraphs need to be well-structured with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that develop the main idea. You also need to ensure that there is a logical flow from one sentence to the next. You should avoid overly long sentences that may confuse the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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