Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, parents always desire their children to go to
university
, especially Asian parents. They believe that university
will bring achievements to their teenagers. Hence
, some people argue that university
education is the best path to Correct article usage
a university
succeed
. In my view, I partly agree with Replace the word
success
this
opinion because of the following reasons.
On the one hand, I strongly support that university
is very essential and it is milestone
for everyone to develop themselves. Maybe Add an article
a milestone
university
is not an
unique way to succeed but it is the fastest Change the article
a
methods
to reach achievement. There are many jobs that are paid high Fix the agreement mistake
method
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
such
as doctor, engineer, teacher and so on. We should graduate good
universities to Change preposition
from good
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
that
positions. And if you do not study at Correct determiner usage
those
university
, you will start from hard career and you must be very excellent to become successful people. In reality, almost good
students have Correct determiner usage
all good
life
better than bad students, With the above reason, parents encourage their Add an article
a life
teenager
to study at Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
university
.
On the other hand
, as the above opinion, university
is not Add an article
the university
an
unique path to Change the article
a
succeed
. College Replace the word
success
can
not suitable for everyone, they have different Verb problem
is
ability
that should be placed in a good condition to develop. Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
For example
, there are famous billionaires, who did not use to graduate any
Change preposition
from any
universities
, in the world Fix the agreement mistake
university
such
as Steve Job
, Bill Fix the agreement mistake
Jobs
Gate
and so on.
In conclusion, I agree that there are several ways and Fix the agreement mistake
Gates
university
education is one of them. However
, if you are not a special excellent person, university
willAdd an article
the university
Add a missing verb
be a
a
fastest path to Change the article
the
succees
.Correct your spelling
success
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introduction conclusion present
The essay does introduce a topic and provide a conclusion, though more distinguishable introductory and concluding statements would improve it. Providing definitions of key terms such as 'success' in the introduction could help clarify the scope of the essay.
logical structure
The logical structure of your paragraphs is generally clear but can be confusing due to a lack of clear topic sentences and transitions. Aim to devote the first sentence of each paragraph to a singular clear topic and use transitional phrases to connect ideas.
supported main points
The main points are present but not fully developed or supported. Try to include more concrete examples, statistics, or sources to substantiate your arguments. Also, pay attention to providing balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion.
complete response
Although you address the task, your response is not fully developed. The discussion on each viewpoint needs to be expanded and the comparison between them should be clearer. Ensure you have fully explained why university might not be necessary for success today.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas put forward are somewhat general and could benefit from being more specific. Aim to explain concepts in greater detail, and how they apply to the context of success in the modern world.
relevant specific examples
The reliance on general examples of success, such as referencing famous billionaires, weakens the essay's argument. Incorporate a wider range of examples that are more directly relevant to the average individual's path to success.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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