IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The plans illustrate the change of facilities which done in Grange Park in 1920 so far. In 1920, the fountain was sited in the
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 of Grange
park
Capitalize word
Park

The word park should be capitalized in this context.

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 and the stage for musicians was located beside that.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the two entrances were located in the south and north of the map, which sited across from each other.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be witnessed the five seats were located in the southwest, southeast, and northeast, and the other two seats were sited near the entrances. The rose gardens engulfed the stage for musicians and the pond for water plants was situated in the northwest of the map. At present, the fountain is removed and the rose garden built
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of it, which 4 seats engulfing it. The children's play area is relocating with the pond for plants,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the amphitheatre is replaced with
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 stage of musicians.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the water feature is converted into
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 glasshouse, and the southeast rose garden is demolished.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a lot of facilities have changed that improved the present map.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have clear logical sequencing in your essay to enhance coherence. Paragraphs must transition smoothly from one to the next with logical connectors.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion should be distinct and clearly state the overview and summary of main points. Work on having a strong thesis statement and a summarizing conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be clearly supported by specific examples that are relevant to the task. Try to provide clear explanations or descriptions that relate specifically to the points made.
task achievement
Aim for a fully developed response to the task by expanding on the key features of the diagrams, providing a more detailed comparison of the changes.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas, ensuring that each point made is comprehensible and relevant to the task. Avoid ambiguity in descriptions.
task achievement
Include specific and accurately described examples from the plans to support your summary. Ensure these examples are both relevant and illustrative of the point you're discussing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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