In a number of countries , some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very trains between cities . Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
It is logical that
people
are divided to
two categories. The first group Change preposition
into
support
spending Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
money
to construct plenty of new railway lines to connect all cities for travel easily.While
the others think more practical that the money
must be spent on renewing the existing public transport
among
a city . /Change preposition
in
However
, in this
essay, I would like to discuss both views and give examples and proved
my own opinion .
On Wrong verb form
prove
one
hand, One of the most positive Correct article usage
the one
to consume
Verb problem
apply
part
of Fix the agreement mistake
parts
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
finance
is Fix the agreement mistake
finances
that
Correct determiner usage
the
to
link between cities and villages . Fix the infinitive
apply
as
a result, Capitalize word
As
people
includes
Wrong verb form
including
elderly
would Correct article usage
the elderly
be
easy Verb problem
find it
for
Change preposition
apply
them
to access the capital cities Correct pronoun usage
apply
for instance
, for medical appointments and medications. Furthermore
, to arrive to
Change preposition
at
international
airport to get Correct article usage
an international
international
flight which is not available in most of the local ones.
Correct article usage
an international
On the other hand
, the second group believe the money
has to be expenses on improving the public transport
in the city to avoid daily traffic jam
and road traffic Fix the agreement mistake
jams
accident
. Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
Moreover
, renew
the existence Wrong verb form
renewing
public
Change preposition
of public
transport
will serve
Verb problem
help
people
to arrive on time and prevent being late during rush hour .Despite it has
one drawback which is the emissions Wrong verb form
having
which
produced Correct pronoun usage
apply
from
different vehicles and crowding Change preposition
by
caused
environmental pollution Replace the word
cause
that is
reflected on
Change preposition
in
people
’s health by breathing it but it has beneficial advantages as well.
In conclusion , both views have benefits which is assisted
Wrong verb form
assisting
people
to facilitate their life. However
, In my opinion ,I would support to spend
more Change the verb form
spending
money
on improving pulpit transport
to serve employees , unemployed
, and Correct article usage
the unemployed
tourist
as well.Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, ensure that you have clear topic sentences for each paragraph that link back to the central question, and that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Avoid abruptly switching topics without smooth transitions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of your essay. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis, and the conclusion should restate your thesis and main points, reflecting back on the essay as a whole.
coherence cohesion
Make sure every main point is supported by specific examples or evidence. It's important to elaborate on how these points help to answer the essay question. Use concrete details rather than general statements for a more compelling argument.
task achievement
To complete the task effectively, address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. While your essay attempts to discuss both views, your own opinion could be more clearly stated and supported. Ensure that your conclusion also encapsulates your stance effectively.
task achievement
Aim to present clear and comprehensive ideas by fully developing each point with sufficient explanation and detail. Ideas should be unpacked and explored, rather than simply stated.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Personal, historical, or hypothetical examples can make abstract ideas more tangible and persuasive.