In a number of countries , some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very trains between cities . Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is logical that
people
are divided
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
two categories. The first group
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
spending
money
to construct plenty of new railway lines to connect all cities for travel easily.
While
the others think more practical that the
money
must be spent on renewing the existing public
transport
among
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in
show examples
a city . /
However
, in
this
essay, I would like to discuss both views and give examples and
proved
Wrong verb form
prove
show examples
my own opinion . On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, One of the most positive
to consume
Verb problem
apply
show examples
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
link between cities and villages .
as
Capitalize word
As
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a result,
people
includes
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
would
be
Verb problem
find it
show examples
easy
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to access the capital cities
for instance
, for medical appointments and medications.
Furthermore
, to arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
international
Correct article usage
an international
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airport to get
international
Correct article usage
an international
show examples
flight which is not available in most of the local ones.
On the other hand
, the second group believe the
money
has to be expenses on improving the public
transport
in the city to avoid daily traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
and road traffic
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
.
Moreover
,
renew
Wrong verb form
renewing
show examples
the existence
public
Change preposition
of public
show examples
transport
will
serve
Verb problem
help
show examples
people
to arrive on time and prevent being late during rush hour .Despite it
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
one drawback which is the emissions
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
produced
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
different vehicles and crowding
caused
Replace the word
cause
show examples
environmental pollution
that is
reflected
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
’s health by breathing it but it has beneficial advantages as well. In conclusion , both views have benefits which is
assisted
Wrong verb form
assisting
show examples
people
to facilitate their life.
However
, In my opinion ,I would support
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
more
money
on improving pulpit
transport
to serve employees ,
unemployed
Correct article usage
the unemployed
show examples
, and
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
as well.
Submitted by dr.marwa on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, ensure that you have clear topic sentences for each paragraph that link back to the central question, and that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Avoid abruptly switching topics without smooth transitions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of your essay. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis, and the conclusion should restate your thesis and main points, reflecting back on the essay as a whole.
coherence cohesion
Make sure every main point is supported by specific examples or evidence. It's important to elaborate on how these points help to answer the essay question. Use concrete details rather than general statements for a more compelling argument.
task achievement
To complete the task effectively, address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. While your essay attempts to discuss both views, your own opinion could be more clearly stated and supported. Ensure that your conclusion also encapsulates your stance effectively.
task achievement
Aim to present clear and comprehensive ideas by fully developing each point with sufficient explanation and detail. Ideas should be unpacked and explored, rather than simply stated.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Personal, historical, or hypothetical examples can make abstract ideas more tangible and persuasive.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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