IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #money #buildings #ones
Due to rich
Change preposition
Rich
show examples
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
 spend a
lot
 of money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
 of the property,
that
is no
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 mean always
repairs
Wrong verb form
repairing
show examples
 old buildings
also
. I
am totally disagree
Change the verb form
totally disagree
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 a
lot
 to create a new one
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because every human in
this
 life
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other things to
investment
Replace the word
invest
show examples
. Repair that not always steady money all the time. Old building spends a
much
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
show examples
 money to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maintenance, including the allocation
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
 from that. It will be spend energy
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
waiting and living
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 place.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other side, in my view
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 modern ones to
repairing
Wrong verb form
repair
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 is not the best choice.
Furthermore
,
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 a new building will be
Correct quantifier usage
more effectivly
show examples
effectivly
Correct your spelling
effectively
effective
 than repairing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old buildings.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, need
allowed
Change the verb form
to be allowed
allowing
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
,
neighboard
Correct your spelling
neighbours
neighbored
, and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 regulates in
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 country. In
case
Add an article
the case
a case
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Indonesia, it will have a
lot
 of
distract
Replace the word
distraction
show examples
 from
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
. As
a
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 younger, in
this
 technology era, we can look
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
lot
 of references, for better
sollution
Correct your spelling
solutions
.
Firtsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, consultation with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 agent property to get
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 price, product, location and model of
building
Add an article
the building
show examples
 would be
specifictlly
Correct your spelling
specific
. On the other view, would be custom what the people need.
Next,
calculate the precision amount of outcome
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
show examples
 be included. Control and management are most important when
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a higher economy. Some people want to your
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sometimes. To
decision
Replace the word
decide
show examples
this
 need more information, and my best knowledge repair
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
 building will make you poor. In
conlustion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, to build
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
property especially old buildings as a rich person is not
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 choice.
Submitted by ardiansyah1312 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is developed and supported.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help your ideas flow more logically and clearly. This includes linking words, pronouns, and transition phrases that connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Stay on topic and ensure that you are addressing the prompt directly throughout your essay. Your point of view should be clear, and your arguments should be relevant to the question asked.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points. These should be relevant and help illustrate the argument you are making, ensuring your essay is persuasive and detailed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you maintain a formal tone appropriate for the IELTS exam, avoiding colloquial language and ensuring correct grammatical structures throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: