some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that unpaid
work
should be included in the list of compulsory school subjects
. For example
, landscaping, teaching
sports to young Correct word choice
and teaching
children
.I strongly agree to include such
things as sports training and landscaping in the list of compulsory subjects
in schools
.Because if these jobs are taught to children
as a science, children
learn to work
and learn to support themselves.And another
benefit for Correct word choice
Another
children
is that they learn to work
and value work
.
The first reason is that children
learn to work
and learn to support themselves.Currently, only scientific subjects
are taught to schoolchildren, applied
sciences and vocational Correct word choice
and applied
subjects
are rarely taught.for
example, as for vocational Capitalize word
For
schools
, the students of these vocational schools
study practical and professional sciences along with
scientific subjects
throughout the year.Therefore
, the students who graduated from these schools
, namely vocational schools
, have various professions or jobs where they can earn good monthly and daily wages.In general, if these subjects
are included in schools
, children
will learn not only scientific subjects
, but also
professional subjects
, and become qualified specialists in some work
in the future.
Children
can earn enough money for themselves. These money
may be useful for them. If they can use their skills after learning these professions in school, they can easily build their future. The reason is that if they are passionate about their Change the determiner
This money
work
,
if they do their Remove the comma
apply
work
sincerely, they will work
well.The second reason is that it would be very useful for children
to use the skills they have learned without abandoning them later.
According to
my conclusion, children
's learning in different ways in schools
is very
useful and necessary aspect for them and for their future Add an article
a very
work
.Submitted by akbarturdiyev06 on
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introduction
Please ensure that your essay begins with a clear introduction stating your position on the given topic. Your essay lacks a clear opening that sets up the purpose for your writing and presents your thesis statement.
conclusion
Make sure to include a distinct conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion on the issue. Your essay does not have a clear conclusion that can help the reader understand your overall standpoint.
logical structure
Work on creating logical sequencing of ideas with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea along with supporting sentences. Your essay tends to blend multiple points in a single paragraph which affects the clarity.
supported main points
Each main idea should be supported with relevant, specific examples or explanations. Your essay has some general statements that do not provide a strong support for your argument. Include concrete examples or anecdotal evidence to enhance your views.
complete response
Address all parts of the task. You need to fully develop your argument in response to the prompt. While you present a strong opinion, the breadth of exploration regarding the necessity and implications of unpaid work in school education is insufficient.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas should be clear and your position should be comprehensively developed throughout the essay. Try to elaborate on your points and avoid overly general statements without adequate explanation or development.
relevant specific examples
To strengthen your arguments, include specific examples related to the prompt. Although you mention vocational schools and skills, providing clear examples or scenarios where unpaid community service has positively impacted students or schools would be valuable for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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