Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.

#poverty #majority #children #effects #society

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Poverty is a common problem in the world that

brings

Verb problem

apply

show examples

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many

children

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, it has negative impacts on society and the best solution to overcome

this

Linking Words

trouble is to give free education. In

this

Linking Words

modern society, poverty is a challenging problem that gives adults including offspring negative effects

such

Linking Words

as problems to purchase healthy

foodfood

Correct your spelling

food

. Many of them prefer to buy cheap

not healthy

Rephrase

unhealthy

show examples

food

Use synonyms

rather than buying healthy meals that are expensive.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it can affect their

bodies

Use synonyms

about how it would be grow.

For instance

Linking Words

, stunting is a problem in Indonesia since it shows how bad the growing

bodies

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are.

show examples

Most of their parents bring them instant

food

Use synonyms

which is bad for their

bodies

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, their

bodies

Use synonyms

may get ill easily since it's not healthy and safe. The case

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be stopped by making a rule from governments. The rule requires governments to allocate free healthy foods for offspring at schools. I heard

this

Linking Words

rule from a president in an Asian country.

For example

Linking Words

, not every

Use synonyms

children

Change to a singular noun

child

show examples

can bring

food

Use synonyms

to school but

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

action

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

provides healthy cooking for students. Meals can be changed from fried chicken at home to green vegetables at school. Not only

its

Correct your spelling

does it

show examples

help

children

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

helps their parents to not much worry about their

food

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, poverty is an inevitable issue that brings disadvantages for people in the world. One of the solutions that can be done is doing a restriction from governments.

Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Thu Dec 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear and cohesive structure, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument. Introduce clear paragraphs with topic sentences, and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction is weak and does not adequately set the stage for the discussion. Consider including a stronger thesis statement and outlining the main points you will discuss. In the conclusion, summarise the main points and reiterate the thesis without introducing new ideas.

coherence cohesion

Main points are not fully developed and need further support and elaboration. Use more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The response does not fully address all parts of the task. There is a mention of the effects of poverty and a suggested solution, but the development is insufficient. Expand on how poverty impacts society as a whole, not just children, and provide a more comprehensive discussion of potential solutions.

task achievement

Some ideas presented are relevant but need to be more comprehensive and clearer. Work on developing your ideas fully and making your stance clear throughout the essay. Provide a deeper analysis of how poverty affects society and detail the proposed solutions to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples. Use real-world instances that directly relate to the effects of poverty on society and the effectiveness of proposed solutions. This strengthens the credibility and persuasiveness of your argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter -describe the problem.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arys and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

Some people believe that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more material and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal.