Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.

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Poverty is a common problem in the world that
brings
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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effects
Correct your spelling
affects

The word effects doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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many
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In my opinion, it has negative impacts on society and the best solution to overcome
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trouble is to give free education. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

modern society, poverty is a challenging problem that gives adults including offspring negative effects
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as problems to purchase healthy
foodfood
Correct your spelling
food

If you don’t want foodfood to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Many of them prefer to buy cheap
not healthy
Rephrase
unhealthy

This phrase may be negated incorrectly.

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food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

rather than buying healthy meals that are expensive.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can affect their
bodies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

about how it would be grow.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, stunting is a problem in Indonesia since it shows how bad the growing
bodies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Add a missing verb
are.

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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Most of their parents bring them instant
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which is bad for their
bodies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, their
bodies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may get ill easily since it's not healthy and safe. The case
need
Change the verb form
needs

The plural verb need does not appear to agree with the singular subject The case. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to be stopped by making a rule from governments. The rule requires governments to allocate free healthy foods for offspring at schools. I heard
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rule from a president in an Asian country.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, not every
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Change to a singular noun
child

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun children. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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can bring
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to school but
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

action
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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provides healthy cooking for students. Meals can be changed from fried chicken at home to green vegetables at school. Not only
its
Correct your spelling
does it

The word its doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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help
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helps their parents to not much worry about their
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, poverty is an inevitable issue that brings disadvantages for people in the world. One of the solutions that can be done is doing a restriction from governments.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear and cohesive structure, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument. Introduce clear paragraphs with topic sentences, and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is weak and does not adequately set the stage for the discussion. Consider including a stronger thesis statement and outlining the main points you will discuss. In the conclusion, summarise the main points and reiterate the thesis without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Main points are not fully developed and need further support and elaboration. Use more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The response does not fully address all parts of the task. There is a mention of the effects of poverty and a suggested solution, but the development is insufficient. Expand on how poverty impacts society as a whole, not just children, and provide a more comprehensive discussion of potential solutions.
task achievement
Some ideas presented are relevant but need to be more comprehensive and clearer. Work on developing your ideas fully and making your stance clear throughout the essay. Provide a deeper analysis of how poverty affects society and detail the proposed solutions to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples. Use real-world instances that directly relate to the effects of poverty on society and the effectiveness of proposed solutions. This strengthens the credibility and persuasiveness of your argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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