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Friends and family bring more happiness than money and possessions. How far do you agree with this statement?

#friends #happiness #money #possessions
It is widely believed that wealth and materials bring less
happiness
 than
friends
 and family. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
 statement. Family and
friends
 are important and can bring a lot of fun to you but
money
 is no less important. I partly agree that we will be happy if we have good
friends
 and a happy family. One of the main reasons can be that family members help us have emotional fullness in our personal lives. Another reason can be that sometimes we have difficulties and our close
friends
 or family are the ones we can share and help us.
For example
, I am a person who lives away from home and I feel like my family is always ready to welcome me every time I return and I feel very happy.
On the other hand
, I disagree with the viewpoint
money
 and possessions bring less
happiness
 than
friends
 and family.
Firstly
,
money
 is an important part of everyone's life.
This
 means that
money
also
 helps our life be happier.
For example
, when we are rich, we can build a house for our parents or travel everywhere we like.
For example
, my sister has a dream of travelling to Europe and she is very happy that she can carry out her dream when she can earn a very high salary. In conclusion,
although
 many people may believe that
friends
 and family bring more
happiness
 than
money
, I am convinced that both relationships and
money
 bring
happiness
, depending on the individual and each person's purposes in life.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
Ensure that you have a clear position throughout the essay. While it is fine to look at both sides of the argument, your own stance should be clear and consistent.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully. Each main point should be elaborated with further explanation or examples to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Strive for a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Make use of cohesive devices appropriately, but also vary your language to avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the main points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples or further explanation. Avoid making statements without backing them up with clear evidence or reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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