Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society? You should write at least 250 words.

This
essay will talk about
one
of the problems
that is
happening in many countries, that not
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
students in
universities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
choose
science
subjects. The way each
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
think
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
chooisng
Correct your spelling
choosing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major in
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
usually
vary
Correct subject-verb agreement
varies
show examples
. Some might choose their major because
one
Change preposition
of one
show examples
impactful event that
have ever
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
happened in their life and
one
might choose
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
major because their relatives
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
in that major, or even
one
might choose
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
randomly because they do not know which major to choose. In
this
essay, there will be explained some possible reasons
that is
specific major only has
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
amount of students
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
choosing.
Science
subjects
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
one
of the least favoured or chosen
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
in
universities
in some countries. The possible causes
are including
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
the thought of lower demand in
such
major in working
places
. As an example in Indonesia,
science
major usually only has
places
to work in research labs, which are rare in Indonesia, or teaching
places
,
such
as schools,
academy
Fix the agreement mistake
academies
show examples
, or
universities
, that might
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
degree to do so, and only
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
part of certain factory industries.
This
phenomenon might as well have some effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
certain individuals,
such
as human and resource development in certain offices, that they might only have
narrower
Add an article
a narrower
the narrower
show examples
choice of workers or
appliciants
Correct your spelling
applicants
that might not all meet the requirements of the applications.
Besides
the effects on
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
, it might
also
affecting
Change the verb form
affect
be affecting
show examples
the whole society, which can be caused
initially
because of the limited human resources
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
specialized in
science
subjects. It possibly can
effecting
Change the verb form
effect
be effecting
show examples
on stopping production in certain work fields or
places
because of the shortages. In conclusion, even though the
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
choice of the
science
major might seem limited,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
is still has
Change the verb form
still has
show examples
its importance for the limited choice
that is
there.
Submitted by vanadia on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a random manner rather than a cohesive and organized argument. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they do not adequately present and sum up the key points of the discussion. Paragraphs need to have clear central ideas that are developed logically.
task achievement
The task is partially addressed as the reasons for the problem are mentioned, but without detailed discussion or clear examples. Effects on society are noted but not explored in depth. The essay does not fully cover all parts of the prompt, lacking specific examples and failing to develop ideas comprehensively. There's a need to fully respond to the task by providing a balanced discussion of causes and effects with clear examples and detailed exploration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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