Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society? You should write at least 250 words.

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This
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essay will talk about
one
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of the problems
that is
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happening in many countries, that not
much
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many
show examples
students in
universities
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that
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apply
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choose
science
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subjects. The way each
students
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student
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think
in
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about
show examples
chooisng
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choosing
the
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a
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major in
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universities
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university
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is
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apply
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usually
vary
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varies
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. Some might choose their major because
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one
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of one
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impactful event that
have ever
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has
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happened in their life and
one
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might choose
specific
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a specific
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major because their relatives
was
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were
show examples
in that major, or even
one
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might choose
major
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a major
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randomly because they do not know which major to choose. In
this
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essay, there will be explained some possible reasons
that is
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specific major only has
small
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a small
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amount of students
that
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is
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are
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choosing.
Science
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subjects
is
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are
show examples
one
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of the least favoured or chosen
major
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majors
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in
universities
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in some countries. The possible causes
are including
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include
show examples
the thought of lower demand in
such
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major in working
places
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. As an example in Indonesia,
science
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major usually only has
places
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to work in research labs, which are rare in Indonesia, or teaching
places
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,
such
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as schools,
academy
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academies
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, or
universities
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, that might
requires
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require
show examples
higher
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a higher
show examples
degree to do so, and only
small
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a small
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part of certain factory industries.
This
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phenomenon might as well have some effects
for
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on
show examples
certain individuals,
such
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as human and resource development in certain offices, that they might only have
narrower
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a narrower
the narrower
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choice of workers or
appliciants
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applicants
that might not all meet the requirements of the applications.
Besides
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the effects on
individual
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individuals
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, it might
also
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affecting
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affect
be affecting
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the whole society, which can be caused
initially
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because of the limited human resources
that
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is
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are
show examples
specialized in
science
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subjects. It possibly can
effecting
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effect
be effecting
show examples
on stopping production in certain work fields or
places
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because of the shortages. In conclusion, even though the
carreer
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career
choice of the
science
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major might seem limited,
but
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apply
show examples
it
is still has
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still has
show examples
its importance for the limited choice
that is
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there.
Submitted by vanadia on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a random manner rather than a cohesive and organized argument. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they do not adequately present and sum up the key points of the discussion. Paragraphs need to have clear central ideas that are developed logically.
task achievement
The task is partially addressed as the reasons for the problem are mentioned, but without detailed discussion or clear examples. Effects on society are noted but not explored in depth. The essay does not fully cover all parts of the prompt, lacking specific examples and failing to develop ideas comprehensively. There's a need to fully respond to the task by providing a balanced discussion of causes and effects with clear examples and detailed exploration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
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