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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The percentage of 3 types of crimes: car theft, house burglary & street robbery in England & Wales from 1970 to 2015

#percentage #crimes #car #theft #house #burglary #street #robbery #england #wales
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The linear graph shows the spread of 3 different
crime
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 types:
car
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theft
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, house burglary and
street
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robbery
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, in England and
Walea
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Wales
 over a fourty five years
peroid
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period
 from 1970 to 2015.
Overall
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, both
car
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theft
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 and house burglary
eperienced
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experienced
 an increase through the given periods with fluctuations during the time,
while
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street
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robbery
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 did not show a noticeable change
on
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in
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 its spread. In 1970, the most frequent
type
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 of
crime
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 was
car
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theft
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 with around 0.4%,
fokkowed
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followed
 by
mearly
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nearly
merely
 0.3% house burglary and
then
Linking Words
 0.1%
street
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robbery
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.
Car
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theft
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 increased gradually to arrive
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at the
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the
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a
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 peak of 1.4% in 1985 and decreased to 0.8%
at
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in
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 2000. Meanwhile, the second most frequent
type
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 of
crime
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 started
with
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at
show examples
 0.3%
at
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in
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 1970
raising
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rising
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 to arrive
0.5
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at 0.5
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% in 1990 and dropped gradually to
nearlly
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nearly
 0.4%
at the end
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 of the surveyed period.
Street
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robbery
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, the least frequent
crime
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type
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, started and ended with the same frequency of nearly 0.1% with fluctuations noticed in
this
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type
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 of
crime
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.
Submitted by leenaasalee on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a general overview, but it lacks clarity in the introduction and conclusion. To enhance cohesion, make sure your essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines what you will discuss and ends with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and findings.
task achievement
To fully achieve the task, it is important to present a comprehensive response to the prompt, including specific data to support your summaries. Your task achievement would improve by providing more precise figures and comparisons rather than approximate percentages and by analyzing the trend for each crime more comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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