Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In the modern era, governments give more support to
artists
, some people
think it's a loss of money
that could have been spent elsewhere
. These days artists
are growing.most people
like this
. In my point of view
governments Add a comma
view,
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
money
to artists
is good. The following paragraph will discuss that.
On the one hand, nowadays artists
subjects are interesting to study. So many students like to learn. Before years many Change noun form
artists'
artist's
people
not
consider that.not respect Change the verb form
do not
did not
this
subject.but now these subjects are more valuable.For example
, artists
including
some subjects Replace the word
include
such
as music, art, drama, dance
. These are the very special Correct word choice
and dance
talent
of every person. And we can learn without Fix the agreement mistake
talents
Add a missing verb
being bore
bore
. Replace the word
bored
Furthermore
, students can improve their own lifestyles and their skills.that is
help to their future. Do not depend
others. Add the preposition
depend on
That is
good
chance.so I feel very happy Change the article
a good
for
allocate Change preposition
to
money
from the government.
On the other hand
, more people
think allocate
Wrong verb form
that allocating
money
to artists
that
is wrong. But I do not accept that.because Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
generation going to very
different.so young Add a missing verb
be very
people
give
more interest Verb problem
have
their
own skills and knowledge development. Change preposition
in their
As well as
these subject
can give happiness and Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
confident
.Replace the word
confidence
For instance
, these days increased
many talent show departments, so it is Verb problem
apply
big
opportunity. And more humans spent their time Add an article
a big
to relate
Verb problem
on
this
.
In conclusion, the government allocate money
to artists
. But not only this
. It is good work. Many people
get the benefits from that.so I believe this
government decision is very nice.so every people
will use good
way and without Correct pronoun usage
it good
distoub
others.Correct your spelling
disturb
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure a clear logical structure by organizing your essay into an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the following sentences support that topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should mirror each other in terms of the points made, and the conclusion should neatly summarize the discussion without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your main points should be developed and supported with specific examples or explanations. Aim to fully flesh out your ideas to show depth of analysis.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion. Your opinion should be clear and consistently maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and easy to understand, with each paragraph comprehensively covering a single topic. Avoid overgeneralization and strive for a clear progression of ideas.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to support your points. The examples should be specific and clearly linked to the points you are making. These examples can be drawn from your knowledge and experience or from broader observations.