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Band 2.5

In order to have your hobby enjoyable,is it necessary to be it difficult one? Do you agree or disagree?

#hobby
In
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
 trend some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 most
enjoyble
Correct your spelling
enjoyable
 and
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
hobby
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should be
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
 one
while
 others think that it is not,
However
 in my opinion
thet
Correct your spelling
that
 are both significant and need to be
dicided
Correct your spelling
decided
divided
 in a balanced way. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
hobby
 is something that you love and
enjoying
Change the form of the verb
enjoy
show examples
while
 you
while you
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
doing it in your free space and time.There are multiple
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different types of
peoples
Change noun form
people's
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hobbies
such
 as classic things like collecting
stams
Correct your spelling
stamps
stems
,gathering
birds
Change noun form
birds'
bird's
show examples
 feathers and going
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 a walk or a ride.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 there is no specific status
mentiond
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 that
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
show examples
 should be hard to do so to feel good
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be enjoyable.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
 a typre of
hobbies
 that are quite
difficuly
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to do so,and collecting things like
collecting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cars,watches or limeted
seris
Correct your spelling
series
 of hats or collecting
uniqe
Correct your spelling
unique
 antique items which I assume as hard
hobbies
 clearly with
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 and values of the
hobby
. In conclusion,in my
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinoin
Add a comma
opinoin,
show examples
 I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no way that
hobbies
 can be messured and
categarise
Correct your spelling
categorised
difficult
Change preposition
as difficult
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 or not unlike it should
different
Add a missing verb
be different
show examples
 to human to human.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 it does not matter if
hobby
Add an article
the hobby
a hobby
show examples
 is hard or not but
hobby
Add an article
the hobby
a hobby
show examples
 is the way you enjoy what you love.
Submitted by nipunhasmitha97 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure. Start with an introduction that clearly states your opinion, develop your argument in the body paragraphs, and finish with a conclusion that summarizes your points. Connect your ideas with appropriate transition words.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure you address the prompt effectively. You have a clear position, but your argument would be strengthened by more developed ideas and specific examples. Expand on your points and provide concrete examples that illustrate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • hobby
  • enjoyment
  • difficulty
  • sense of accomplishment
  • relaxation
  • stress relief
  • personal challenge
  • growth
  • socialization
  • balance
  • interest
  • subjective
  • personality traits
  • complexity
  • preference
What to do next:
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