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Band 5

Some people say that television is a very useful tool when it comes to education. Others argue that television is a much overused, ineffective teacher. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion as to the usefulness of television as an educational tool.

#people #television #tool #education #teacher #usefulness
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TV
 is the most common kind of media, and when it comes to
education
, some
eiltes
Correct your spelling
elites
 associate it with a practical form of
education
.
While
 others believe, in
this
 regard, it is a waste of time and resources. I reckon television could be
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 in
education
. On one hand, those who are against
TV
 prefer face-to-face classes where
students
 can work together. For
examole
Correct your spelling
example
, in the traditional form of learning, children can learn subjects by playing and
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborating
show examples
 which are by far the most
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 skills to learn.
Moreover
, teachers are highly unlikely to do the justice on
TV
.
For instance
, usually teacher is a role model for
students
, and they try to imitate
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 behaviours.
Besides
, the
students
 learn ethics and social skills from the teacher which is unlikely to convey from distance learning.
On the other hand
, there are many advantages.
To begin
 with,
TV
 can provide
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 with equality in
education
. There a few
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
 teachers in the country so they can't manage to teach all
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
.
As a result
,
TV
 can record and broadcast their materials
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the country which is cheap
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and has high quality.
In addition
, a lot of
villiages
Correct your spelling
villages
villagers
 suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of teachers
as well as
 the internet.
Hence
, radio
waves
Fix the agreement mistake
wave
show examples
 technology,
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in
TV
, is the only way to transfer information in these areas. As a
consequece
Correct your spelling
consequence
, television is the only solution to educate children in these
run down
Add a hyphen
run-down
show examples
 residential areas. In
concolusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
 television might not be the ideal instrument for
education
, it can contribute both
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 and availability of
education
 across the country. So I believe its advantages overcome its disadvantages.
Submitted by AUser on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and logical structure to enhance coherence. Stick to one idea per paragraph and use cohesive devices appropriately.
task achievement
Develop each main point thoroughly with adequate support and examples. Avoid generalizations and strive for more specific illustrations that add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar to minimize errors that can distract from the quality of the writing.
task achievement
Refine your concluding paragraph to effectively summarize the main points of the essay, clearly stating your own position to meet the requirements of a well-rounded conclusion.
task achievement
Check for informal language and contractions, and replace them with formal equivalents to maintain the academic tone expected in IELTS writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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