The pie chart shows change sin 4 employment sector in two towns.

#change #sin #employment #sector #two #towns

The pie chart depicts information regarding residents' work segments in two neighbourhoods in 1960 and 2010.

Overall

, it is conscientious that in 1960, manufacturing was the largest job employed by both residences

whereas

in 2010, services were more popular in town A

while

manufacturers were consistently famous in region B.

In particular

, from the starting year, there have been many people who favour functioning in a factory which accounted for 41% in territory A and 70% in opposite sites.

However

, in modern days, people in sector B remain loyal to industry,

in contrast

to opponents where

such

people prefer to work in a service-oriented career.

Moreover

, in 1960, sales were regarded to be the second most desirable job for both citizens proven by 30 persons in city A and 20 individuals on the other side who worked in marketing.

On the other hand

, in 2010, selling things dramatically dropped to only 16 even though they moderately increased to 22 in nearby urban.

Finally

, employees who are customer-oriented are increasing nowadays in both areas.

Submitted by pnasywasina on Thu Dec 28 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

173 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart shows change sin 4 employment sector in two towns.

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

Internet development has great impact on people’s life. Some people say social media do more harm to the youth. Other people sat they do the great to the youth, Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Is it positive or negative?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?