Task 2: In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss both views
Indroduction
In Correct your spelling
Introduction
this
period of modernity
many people are more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed Add a comma
modernity,
education
and found jobs.In my opinion,I Correct pronoun usage
their education
strangorly
Correct your spelling
strongly
strangely
agree
whit Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
this
notion and my opinion will be discussed in further
paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.
Body paragraph 1
supporting my agreement to
the given statement.I firmly believe that my country Change preposition
with
have
many young students Change the verb form
has
continue
to live Correct pronoun usage
who continue
their
parents even after they have completed Change preposition
with their
education
and found jobs.
Body paragraph 2
Correct pronoun usage
their education
Explaning
some of Correct your spelling
Explaining
the
Remove the article
apply
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
supportings
points in favour Correct your spelling
supporting
the
drawbacks ,including practicings to live independently and building their own Change preposition
of the
life
are more significant .
conclusion
In conclusion,Many people are more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed Add the comma(s)
life,
education
and found jobs.I believe that Correct pronoun usage
their education
aforementioned
points are strongly supporting my point of view.Correct article usage
the aforementioned
Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear logical structure, with body paragraphs not distinctly discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the topic. It's crucial to organize your essay so that each paragraph has a clear focus and purpose, contributing to a coherent argument or discussion. Aim to begin with a topic sentence that signals what the paragraph will be about, followed by supporting sentences, and end with a concluding sentence that ties back to the main theme. This will significantly enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your writing.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they lack clarity and do not effectively paraphrase the question or clearly state the writer's opinion. Both paragraphs should bookend the essay, setting out your position in the introduction and summarizing the main points in the conclusion, restating your view without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Your essay needs to include specific examples and explanations that support each point made. Without these, the essay fails to convincingly develop an argument or discussion. Use relevant examples, evidence, or personal experiences to substantiate your claims, making your essay more persuasive and informative.
task achievement
The essay does not satisfactorily complete the task as it does not discuss both views or clearly explain why you agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ensure that you respond to all parts of the task prompt, providing a balanced discussion and a clear position. The reader should clearly understand what these advantages and disadvantages are and why one might be considered to outweigh the other.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
