IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among UK residents in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among UK residents in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #three #categories #uk #residents #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart below illustrates the citizen's expenditure in the UK
categoriez
Correct your spelling
category
 in 5 age groups in 2004.
Overall
, the data shows the older the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
, the more they need food and drink. The expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food and drink when the UK resident was under 30 was about 6%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Then
, the spending of it increased gradually
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 23%
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a peak when they were over 76
years
 old.
On the other hand
, the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 entertainment and
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 &
Correct word choice
and hotel
show examples
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 fluctuated among
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 ages. When they were under 30, the total spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 &
Correct word choice
and hotel
show examples
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 was 14%,
then
 minimally
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 12% when they were 31-60
years
 old. The need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that
then
 dropped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 only 2% when the citizens at the ages of 61-75 and slightly jumped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 7% after that age. Meanwhile, the spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 entertainment
got
Verb problem
was
show examples
 6% when the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 under 30
years
 old.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following ages, that spending got a peak at 23% in the group of 61-75
years
 old and sharply jumped down at just 7%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the group of over 76
years
 old.
Submitted by dyahkusumaningrum18 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "jumped" was used 2 times.
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