As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost becaue of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.
The development of technology is inevitable
where
happens everywhere and anytime. Computers have modern tools where they able to do human Correct word choice
and
jobs
. It leads to the rising movement of unemployment which cause
a problem in people's lives.
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
To begin
with, automation can be used to do any kind of job like a human working. A position relate
to an activity at a restaurant where a worker is required to work fast can be done by computers. Wrong verb form
related
For instance
, instead
of calling a human bartender, an owner at a sushi restaurant prefer
to choose machines as their workers because they tend to do it faster. A machine is not only faster but it Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
has a
capability to do something that humans can not do. Change the article
the
As a result
, for the next few years, business owners may choose technology as their helper.
Jobs
replaced by computers could make many individuals face poverty. Limited sources of income create hard times for a community to find primary needs. For example
, research shows that more than 25% population lose their jobs
because of machines. If finding a position is hard then
searching for food is not easy. People might lose some motivation because of this
. It results that technology could be a dangerous tool where companies do not need any human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
for working
. Change preposition
to work
Consequently
, jobs
would not be accessible easily for the majority of people.
In conclusion, technological advancement might help some communities for their own benefit but at the same time, it could reduce incomes for many individuals.Submitted by ieltswriting91 on
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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You should describe specific job positions in detail that may be lost and discuss the problem with more depth and focus on the implications.
coherence cohesion
When focusing on coherence and cohesion, make sure that your essay flows logically from one idea to the next, using a range of cohesive devices. In addition, your introduction and conclusion should clearly reflect the topic and relate to each other.