Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both the views anf give your opinion.

Some
people
work
for only one company until retire. Others believe that it is better to
work
for different employers. In
this
essay, I will argue that it is beneficial to the employee's working ability and skills when they are employed in diverse organizations. One clear advantage of working for more than one workplace is that it allows the worker to acquire new
experiences
.
This
is because new hires will get in variety of
trainings
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training
pieces of training
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,
as well as
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be familiar with different operation styles. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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result,
experiences
Correct article usage
the experiences
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and knowledge that
people
gain from working for various
cooperations
Correct your spelling
corporations
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will enhance their working ability for future career growth.
For instance
, many CEO in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large organizations have been employed by a lot of companies throughout their working life.
Hence
, the more firms that
people
work
for, the more
experiences
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experience
show examples
they can obtain.
Additionally
, working for many workplaces
strengthen
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strengthens
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people
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people's
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flexibility and adaptability.
As
Correct word choice
When
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joining a new company,
people
have to adapt themselves to get
a long
Correct your spelling
along
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well in the new environment and with new co-workers.
This
enables
capability
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the capability
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to handle any changes
happen
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that happen
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to their job.
For example
, if a company lays off
their staffs
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its staff
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, the person who had
working
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work
show examples
experiences
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experience
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in various companies will get a new job faster than those
did
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who did
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not.
This
is the reason why many
people
change their jobs more often. In conclusion, it is better to
work
for many organizations as it
enhance
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enhances
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people
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people's
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potential to grow their
career
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careers
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.
Also
,
this
allow
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allows
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workers to cope with any unexpected changes
occur
Correct pronoun usage
that occur
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in the
workplaces
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workplace
show examples
.
Submitted by thanhvan230688 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve connectivity.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present, but they could be strengthened by being more engaging and concise.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points, but incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing strategies could enhance clarity.
task achievement
You addressed the task sufficiently; however, exploring a broader range of ideas and deepening the analysis could enhance the response.
task achievement
The ideas within the essay are clear, but striving for greater depth and complexity would lead to a more comprehensive treatment of the subject matter.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided but aim to include more specific and varied examples to support your points more convincingly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • In-depth mastery
  • Expertise
  • Company loyalty
  • Career advancement
  • Professional relationships
  • Networking opportunities
  • Job security
  • Stability
  • Breadth of experience
  • Skill development
  • Work cultures
  • Dynamic
  • Adaptability
  • Flexibility
  • Income potential
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