Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both the views anf give your opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organisations #anf

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Some

people

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work

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for only one company until retire. Others believe that it is better to

work

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for different employers. In

this

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essay, I will argue that it is beneficial to the employee's working ability and skills when they are employed in diverse organizations. One clear advantage of working for more than one workplace is that it allows the worker to acquire new

experiences

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This

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is because new hires will get in variety of

trainings

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training

pieces of training

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as well as

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Fix the infinitive

apply

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be familiar with different operation styles. As

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result,

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experiences

Correct article usage

the experiences

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and knowledge that

people

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gain from working for various

cooperations

Correct your spelling

corporations

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will enhance their working ability for future career growth.

For instance

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, many CEO in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

large organizations have been employed by a lot of companies throughout their working life.

Hence

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, the more firms that

people

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work

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for, the more

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experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

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they can obtain.

Additionally

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, working for many workplaces

strengthen

Correct subject-verb agreement

strengthens

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

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flexibility and adaptability.

Correct word choice

When

show examples

joining a new company,

people

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have to adapt themselves to get

a long

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along

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well in the new environment and with new co-workers.

This

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enables

capability

Add an article

the capability

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to handle any changes

happen

Correct pronoun usage

that happen

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to their job.

For example

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, if a company lays off

their staffs

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its staff

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, the person who had

working

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work

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Use synonyms

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

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in various companies will get a new job faster than those

did

Correct pronoun usage

who did

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not.

This

Linking Words

is the reason why many

people

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change their jobs more often. In conclusion, it is better to

work

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for many organizations as it

enhance

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enhances

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

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potential to grow their

career

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careers

show examples

Also

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this

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allow

Change the verb form

allows

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workers to cope with any unexpected changes

occur

Correct pronoun usage

that occur

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in the

workplaces

Fix the agreement mistake

workplace

show examples

Submitted by thanhvan230688 on Fri Dec 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve connectivity.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are both present, but they could be strengthened by being more engaging and concise.

coherence cohesion

You have supported your main points, but incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing strategies could enhance clarity.

task achievement

You addressed the task sufficiently; however, exploring a broader range of ideas and deepening the analysis could enhance the response.

task achievement

The ideas within the essay are clear, but striving for greater depth and complexity would lead to a more comprehensive treatment of the subject matter.

task achievement

Relevant examples are provided but aim to include more specific and varied examples to support your points more convincingly.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

In-depth mastery
Expertise
Company loyalty
Career advancement
Professional relationships
Networking opportunities
Job security
Stability
Breadth of experience
Skill development
Work cultures
Dynamic
Adaptability
Flexibility
Income potential

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Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both the views anf give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning your father language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages?

More and more people these days work harder and longer hours and have no time for family life and friends. What are the causes in your opinion for this? How is it affecting family life and the society as a whole?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.