Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, some
people
argue that buying more and more consumer goods is beneficial for the economy.
While
other individuals discuss that
this
phenomenon brings many drawbacks for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
, I personally believe that it will damage
society
.
On the other hand
, if
people
buy more and more products, it will be great for the economy of a country. At
first,
by purchasing more things, factories and stores will need more employees and by
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
unemployment statistics will decrease.
In addition
, they will make significant contributions to their country's economic growth.
Secondly
, when companies make more money, governments can have more tax revenues.
This
would solve economic issues ,especially rising inflation and poverty alleviation.
However
, I believe that encouraging
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
to buy an enormous number of stuff is bad for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. The first argument is financial struggles. If
people
are encouraged to buy things, that they don't need, one day they will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial issues. And when financial problems are awful, they will suffer with some stress,
depretion
Correct your spelling
depression
or
axiety
Correct your spelling
anxiety
.These
people
might be a burden to their families and even their
society
. The second reason is
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
damage. Because more facilities and factories are built to serve more shopping needs.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
it can impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon dioxide emission in the area or worse, in the city.
For example
, China is very successful in economic growth when they
convinced
Wrong verb form
convince
show examples
their citizens to buy a lot of consumer products,
however
, the air quality in China is alarming because of many factories, which make
people
suffer from respiratory illnesses. In conclusion,
although
it is beneficial for the economy when the government encourage spending,
this
idea brings many disadvantages for
society
, especially health and the environment
Submitted by satkalialbina07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, the body paragraphs should discuss each view comprehensively, and the conclusion should summarize your opinion effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point, which should be introduced with a topic sentence and supported with relevant examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentence structures and aim for a variety of complex structures to enhance readability and flow.
Task Response
Ensure that you respond to all parts of the task. The essay should discuss both views presented in the prompt and provide your own opinion in a clear and balanced manner.
Task Response
Develop your main points more fully with relevant, specific examples and explanations that demonstrate a deeper analysis and understanding of the topic.
Task Response
Work on grammatical accuracy and range to improve clarity and precision in your writing. Avoid errors that can obscure meaning and impact the overall coherence of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: