IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Do you thing the advantages of driverless vehicle outweigh the disadvantages?

#driverless #vehicle
many
people
 think that using
Correct article usage
a drverless
show examples
drverless
Correct your spelling
driverless
vehicle
 is useful
while
 others say that it is not. I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
 think that driverless
vehicle
 gives more unsafe
feelling
Correct your spelling
feeling
 and it costs more money.
to begin
 with, one of
incredible
Add an article
the incredible
show examples
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
show examples
 is
driverless
Add an article
a driverless
the driverless
show examples
vehicle
 and it is used to transport
people
 and products. it helps to simplify tasks and save time and
this
 leads to
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. using
this
vehicle
, companies tend to have more profit but they have
small
Change the article
a small
the small
show examples
 number of
people
 who work for them. in terms of
driver
Correct article usage
the driver
show examples
,
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
 without
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 driver is a big attempt but sometimes it
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 questioned the
savety
Correct your spelling
safety
. when automation is used to take over human tasks, it might be
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 but when it relates to human life
then
 it cannot be
garanteed
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
 the
savety
Correct your spelling
safety
.
for example
,
people
 can take control in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who have
masterd
Correct your spelling
mastered
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
know what to do when comes to
dengerous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 conditions.
This
also
 leads to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 manual
labors
Fix the agreement mistake
labor
show examples
while
 workers need
suplay
Correct your spelling
supply
 for
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
.
For instance
, in some
companies
Add a comma
companies,
show examples
 they cut off some officers because they have automation to replace them.
to sum up
,
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 bring small positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative ones.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction stating your position, main body paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a concise conclusion summarising your views. Your position on the prompt is a bit unclear.
task achievement
Work on providing clear and specific examples to support your main points. Each paragraph should contain a main idea and one or two specific examples or explanations.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and consistent structure which makes it difficult to follow. Organizing your paragraphs logically with clear connections between them will improve coherence.
coherence & cohesion
Remember to use a range of cohesive devices accurately and to vary your sentence structures to demonstrate good control of the language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: