Some people state that in the period of developed IT, it is normal for teenagers to spend a lot of time on such modern gadgets as smart phones and laptops, while others say that it is a bad habit with negative consequences. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #period #teenagers #time #gadgets #phones #laptops #habit #consequences

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

modern world, students are tremendously using advanced technology-based

gadgets

such

as cell phones and computers which is normal to some people, whilst others say that it is harmful for youngsters as they spend a long time on them. in

this

essay, I will explore both views by focusing on some vital points and stating my personal opinion. to commence with,

due to

several enhancements in technology, it is more convenient for education

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

so that pupils

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

opt

Change preposition

for

show examples

them when every class are conducted with advanced

gadgets

such

as projectors and laptops.

in addition

, their homework will be based on some apps which must be running on mobile phones or computers.

for instance

, if teachers do use Microsoft Excel to solve various equations, students tend to be

an users

Correct the article-noun agreement

users

a user

show examples

of Microsoft Excel when doing academic work at home.

hence

, in

this

way, parents are less surprised when children used to spend more and more time on

such

advanced applications at home.

therefore

, guardians are fearless even if they are not active in social activities.

on the other hand

, without modern touch

such

as a video projector, it is impossible nowadays to teach everyone in a big hall room, after

all

Add the comma(s)

all,

show examples

students have fun

while

they are taught the way they like.

furthermore

, to reduce abuse and crime rates at college , management would like to have

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every student's details on their database by using computers.

also

, parents are able to know about their children's history. eventually, modern

gadgets

are undeniable to improve educational structure. the prevalence of using laptops and cell phones

Verb problem

has

show examples

increased to easy access every different websites so that learners can gain more ideas about academic topics.

to sum up

although

it is an addiction for youngsters to run various gaming apps on smartphones,

instead

of using education-related software. I think parents should be more alert and focused on their children , and convince them to spend time on advanced

gadgets

for study purposes only to avoid negative effects on them.

Submitted by farjanaakterrikta8 on Fri Dec 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs improvement, as the ideas presented are not consistently clear and the transitions between them can be more fluid. It is essential to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the subsequent sentences support that idea.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, which is positive. However, they should more effectively introduce the topic and summarize the main points while clearly stating your opinion. The essay would benefit from stronger opening and closing statements that leave a more lasting impression on the reader.

coherence cohesion

While some main points are supported, there is a need for more developed explanations and clearer examples to enhance the arguments. The essay skims over several ideas without delving deeply into any, reducing the overall clarity of the argument. The writer should work on elaborating points with specific examples and detailed reasoning.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task and provides a response to the prompt. However, to score higher, the answer must completely address all parts of the task with a more developed and clear argument. Ensure to cover both sides of the discussion more evenly and clearly express your own opinion with sufficient justification.

task achievement

Ideas are provided but not comprehensive or fully clear. The essay should articulate points more precisely and logically. Paying attention to clarity will help the reader understand the writer's point of view more effectively.

task achievement

Relevant examples are touched upon but not fully developed. The essay would benefit from specific, relevant examples that are directly tied to the arguments made. More detailed and concrete examples will add weight to the points being discussed and enhance the overall quality of the essay.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some experts believe that school it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primaryrather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
A number of specialists assumes that, ideal time to start learning on a non-native language is at the elementary school level rather than middle school level. In my conviction , learning foreign toungue later makes the students overburden with all other academic burden in secoundary educational institutional status. However, exporsure to a external language at early school age's let them to be fluent in a languge and more easy to learn. Thus, I think the benifits of learning a secound toungue early outweight the drawbacks.
5
band
Thesedays, problems with pollution are becoming worse, particularly in large cities. What are the reasons for this and how can this be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years, the poluttion has become a serious crisis particularly in metropolices. This essay will explore the reasons of this problem, and ultimatelly suggest solutions.
5
band
Nowadays, violent behaviours are prevalent in video games and movies. While a group of indiviuals presents the view that engaging in such activities is a great form of leisure, I strongly agree with those who believe that since these games and movies have several adverse effects for our community, they should be restricted by the governments.
Nowadays, violent behaviours are prevalent in video games and movies. While a group of indiviuals presents the view that engaging in such activities is a great form of leisure, I strongly agree with those who believe that since these games and movies have several adverse effects for our community, they should be restricted by the governments.
6.5
band
Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It has been suggested that governments should invest public money in searching for life on other planets. However, this essay's writer strongly believes it would be better to use that money to tackle some temporary Earth problems.
7
band
WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
There are some parts of the community who consider that research on animals is bad and should be banned. Conversely, any essential scientific discoveries would be made from animals’ tests being a reason for others. Personally, even though the latter statement seems beneficial, it should implemented under the supervision of the stakeholders to make sure it still running in a good way.

Some people state that in the period of developed IT, it is normal for teenagers to spend a lot of time on such modern gadgets as smart phones and laptops, while others say that it is a bad habit with negative consequences. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some experts believe that school it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primaryrather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Thesedays, problems with pollution are becoming worse, particularly in large cities. What are the reasons for this and how can this be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.