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Band 4.5

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other believe that access to the Internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #right #access #internet #governments #services
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the question of whether
internet
access
 is a fundamental right or a service to be paid for.Attorneys argue that everyone has a right to
access
 the
internet
 and, the government should provide it for free. Some people believe that
internet
access
 is not a right and, should be paid for like other social services.
This
 essay will explore both perspectives and provide a personal opinion on the matter. Those supporting free
government provided
Add a hyphen
government-provided
show examples
internet
access
, highlight
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 role in promoting inclusivity.They argue that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is vital for education,information and just participating in the technological world.In recent years many people
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
show examples
 off the
internet
.There are millions of gamers,
bloggers
Correct word choice
and bloggers
show examples
 making money from
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
As a result
, it leads to the fact that
internet
access
 must be free for everyone.
On the other hand
, some individuals claim that
internet
access
 should be treated as good.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 they may mention that it promotes infrastructure development, ensures quality services and prevents overconsumption.In their opinion paid versions of
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
access
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
show examples
 responsible use and
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 the development and maintenance of reliable
Internet
 networks. In my view, finding a fair viewpoint is important in
this
 discussion.
Although
 giving everyone
access
 to the
Internet
 supports fairness, we must consider the real difficulties in keeping
this
 service going. A possible answer might be to have different levels
basic
Change preposition
of basic
show examples
access
 for free and more advanced services at a price.
This
 way, we can make sure many people can use the
Internet
while
 still keeping it of good quality and lasting over time.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure but could benefit from more cohesive devices to enhance the flow between ideas. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your arguments and points.
coherence cohesion
Please ensure an introduction and conclusion are present. Your introduction sets up the discussion well, though it could be more concise. The conclusion is clear, but strive to make it a stronger summary of your essay's points and your stance.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are supported, the development of these points remains superficial. Delve deeper into each argument by adding more elaboration and including comprehensive examples that effectively back your reasoning.
task achievement
You have addressed the task sufficiently, but there's room for a more complete response. In discussing both views and giving your opinion, ensure that you elaborate equally on both perspectives and clearly justify your own position.
task achievement
To achieve clearer and more comprehensive ideas, expand your explanations and avoid overgeneralizations. Provide more detailed analysis and address potential counterarguments to strengthen your essay.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to illustrate your points. Providing real-life instances or more precise data will add depth to your arguments and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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