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The chart bellow shows the different level of post-school qualifications in Australia and proportion of men and women who held them in 1999

The chart bellow shows the different level of post-school qualifications in Australia and proportion of men and women who held them in 1999
#bellow #level #post-school #qualifications #australia #proportion #men #women
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart illustrates the percentages of post-school qualifications based on the genders in Australia in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 females exceeded the males in the categories of undergraduate
diploma
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 and bachelor’s degree,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the
reamining
Correct your spelling
remaining
 categories the proportions of men
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was hşgher
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hşgher
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higher
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
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 the
women
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. In detail, even
the
Correct word choice
though the
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 percentages of females and males were similar, the
rate
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 of females was higher
thay
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than
 males at 50% and nearly 45%, respectively. In terms of the field of undergraduate
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diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
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,
women
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’s
rate
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 was higher than men’s, but the
gep
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gap
 between the genders was more significant, the
rate
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 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 almost doubled the
male’s
Change noun form
male
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rate
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. Turning to the
remaning
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remaining
 figures, interestingly,
at
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apply
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the figure
of
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for
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 skilled vocational
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diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
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 saw a remarkable gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 genders, the
rate
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 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 was higher nine times than
female’s
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females
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rate
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. Respective of the field of
postgrade
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postgraduate
postgrad
post grade
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diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
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, men got
this
Linking Words
 degree two times more than
women
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, they represented
in
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apply
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70% and 30%, respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, the pattern for
masters
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master's
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degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 was similar,
Correct your spelling
although
althought
Correct your spelling
although
, the
rate
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 of men was higher than
women
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, which accounted for 40 %, it was less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 doubled the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words diploma, women, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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