Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

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There is no denying the fact that the sport is defined
the
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by the
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countries by
participate
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participating
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in
Correct article usage
the olympic
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olympic
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Olympic
Olympics
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beside
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besides
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its
contributed
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contribution
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to
balanced
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a balanced
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healthy life.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that some countries
focusing
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focus
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on building
specially facilitated
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special facilities
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to train top athletes for the purpose of international sports success, there is
also
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an argument that the
limitation using
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limited use
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of sports for everyone .
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, the trainee who has already
talent
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has
ability
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the ability
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to
development
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develop
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them self .
In other
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words
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words,
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it will
decreased
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decrease
be decreased
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the cost
devices
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of devices
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need
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needed
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and it reduction of effort for working on improvement.
In addition
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,
the
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apply
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desire
is play
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plays
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a significant role
of move
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in moving
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foreword
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forward
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and it
prevent
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prevents
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obstacle
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obstacles
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which is
Verb problem
from
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stoping them.
For
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example
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example,
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based on
Verb problem
a
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popular player
of
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in
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football is called ‘
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Messi
messy
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messi
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Messi
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‘ because of his
talent
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and strength of his self believing he
were
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had
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won
in
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apply
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the
world cup
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World Cup
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many times
On the other hand
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, providing the opportunity for everyone
have indeed
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apply
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to become
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talent
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talented
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. It is
also
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possible to say that the training club and sports gym may
helping
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help
be helping
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to
allowed
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allow
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all
person
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people
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who
has
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have
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habits
become
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to become
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a
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apply
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unique in the future.
Moreover
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,
this
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will support
workforce
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the workforce
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to
found
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find
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job
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jobs
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which is
investment
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an investment
the investment
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to gain
employe
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employees
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.
For instance
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, the widespread of training
centre
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centres
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make a great combination beneficial between
trainer
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trainers
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and
non worker
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non-worker
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. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On
balanced
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balance
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,
however
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, I tend to believe that focusing on one side of training is not justice because some individual needs others to help them
for discovered
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discover
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their
talent
Use synonyms
and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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thy
Correct your spelling
they
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will become independent.
Submitted by M on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clarity in the development of ideas and does not progress logically. Strengthen the connections between your main points and ensure there is a clear progression of arguments throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present but are not fully effective. Work on providing a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a more decisive conclusion that summarizes your main points and provides a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need better support and development. Include more detailed examples, explanations, and evidence to back up your points and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Although you address the task, your response can be significantly improved. Consider developing each point more fully to cover all parts of the question. Aim for a balanced argument that assesses both sides of the issue to strengthen your task achievement.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be clearer and more comprehensive. Strive for an essay where each paragraph presents a single clear idea that is relevant to the task, without going off-topic or being too general.
task achievement
Make sure to include relevant examples that are specific and detailed to support your arguments. Avoid generic statements and strive to connect your examples directly to your main points for a stronger essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
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