IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people prefer to exercise in a fitness center, while others prefer outdoor activities. Choose one of them and give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #exercise #fitness #center #activities #support
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In the contemporary era, all individuals are always concerned about their
health
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 and their body. Most
people
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 go to the gym or other
fitness
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 centresfitness to do
exercise
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whereas
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 some
people
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 prefer to do outdoor activities. In
this
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 essay, I will tend to explain the justification why most
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
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 prefer the gym to do workouts. The preponderant reason is, the
fitness
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 centre has qualified staff and well-equipments which helps the
people
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 to do
exercise
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Add the comma(s)
, as well as the qualified staff,
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as well as
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 the qualified staff can tell individuals suitable workout for their body.
For instance
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, In Canada, the
health
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 club is considered the best place for
exercise
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 as many of the coaches provide the best workout techniques to warm up the body and how to do
a proper sessions
Correct the article-noun agreement
proper sessions
a proper session
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for their customers as well they
also
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 give diet plans to lose or gain weight.
Therefore
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, human beings prefer to go in drills as they get to know more about new physical exercises
as well as
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 the proper way to do
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these exercises
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exercise
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.
Besides
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this
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,
people
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 prefer gyms as they get some privacy and flexibility for doing their sessions.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the
fitness
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 clubs are open 24/7 as well they have branches not in cities only but in small villages
also
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.
For example
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,
health
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 clubs in Australia have flexible hours and open 24/7 which provides a good option for
people
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 to come for warm-up
according to
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 their schedules.
Moreover
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, the
fitness
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 club have the option of private training sessions for men and women.
Hence
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, arenas provide better to the folk for doing their
exercise
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 with respect to their privacy. In conclusion, there are many justifications for why
people
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 prefer to go to
health
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 clubs for their workouts but they provide too many good options to individuals in regard to their
health
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 and privacy.
Submitted by sirat on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure throughout, with each paragraph seamlessly flowing into the next. Use cohesive devices effectively to improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by providing a balanced approach to the arguments and ensuring that your personal opinion is clearly stated and consistent throughout the essay. Include a variety of sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of your response.
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