the pic charts illustrates the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or car

the pic charts illustrates the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or car
The chart above
describe
Change the verb form
describes
show examples
the
reasons
behind
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
transportation choices to
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
, either using a
bicycle
or a car.
Overall
, there are two main
reasons
why workers pick a
bicycle
. They prefer to use
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
because it is more healthy and
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
friendly.
However
, some
people
tend to commute with a car since it is their comfort zone.
People
choosing
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
have five
reasons
.
First,
cycling is an excellent exercise for health and fitness. Not only that, but cycling is
also
less
polutant
Correct your spelling
pollutant
. Respectively,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two
reasons
hit
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
percentage at 30%.
Furthermore
, advantages
such
as no parking problems (15%), no costs (13%), and faster than driving (12%)
also
are the
reasons
why
people
love
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cycling to their
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
. On the other side, there are
people
who like driving more than cycling.
Similarly
, they have five
reasons
too. The crucial reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
they feel
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
with that (40%).
In addition
, since the distance from their home to
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
is far enough,
people
prefer to drive (21%).
Besides
that, there are another three
reasons
, and one of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
is
due to
their need to bring many things to work like documents or papers. So the pie shows five
reasons
respectively both for cycling and driving to work.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, bicycle, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cardiovascular health
  • carbon footprint
  • commute
  • congestion
  • ecological footprint
  • emissions
  • fuel efficiency
  • metropolitan
  • public transport
  • sustainable
  • traffic jams
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