Many teenagers by encourage their parents to get a part-time job What are the advantages and the advantages of teenagers working part time?

A large number of parents are motivated by their young
people
to occupation during their leisure
time
.
Although
an after-school
job
like Excellent pounces on the use of free
time
.
This
motivates some
cons
impact.In
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
of getting a
part-
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
time
job
after
scoole
Correct your spelling
school
hours.
Fristly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, one of the pros of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
part-
time
employment
is that it will give young
people
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
employment
experience.
Forthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it will help them to employ skills
such
as, how to complete an occupation entreaty, how to face well interviews and how to
work
for a supervisor.
For instance
,
according to
Surely Keep by the University of California the majority of teenagers who used to
work
after academies are getting their by companies than teenagers who have not had any
work
.
Therefore
, one of the pros of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
part-
time
employment
is it will give children
really
Change the word
real
show examples
work
experience and they can get opportunities for self-confidence.
On the other hand
, there are certain
cons
to doing a part-
time
job
for example
,
while
working students will not have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
to study and finish school-related homework Because they will be exhausted and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
for rest.
This
Bing is busy with a
job
while
leading might have
cons
impact on studying.
Moreover
, children who have part-
time
employment
might lost in their future studies and they totally miss their education. In conclusion, a part-
time
job
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
during school years might offer some benefits to young
people
.
However
, the
cons
impacts of working at a young
people
age cannot be overlooked. The study should be rejected to get a hold of a
job
if it might affect their studies and their future professional education jobs.
Submitted by manushamanu1024 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Please ensure your essay has a logical structure, where ideas flow coherently from one paragraph to the next. Avoid disjointed arguments and make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, using linking words and maintaining topic consistency.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your position and summarise the main points of your essay. While you did provide these, make sure they are more effectively presented and better encapsulate the essence of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. Provide clear, elaborate explanations and well-elaborated examples that directly support your argument, increasing the persuasive power of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your ideas should be comprehensive and cover both sides of the issue if the prompt requires it. Keep your response balanced and make sure to elaborate on your points to meet the task requirements.
task achievement
Be clear and express your ideas comprehensively. Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey precise meanings and avoid ambiguity. Aim for accuracy in grammar and word choice to enhance the quality of your argument.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. They should be relevant and strengthen your claim. Generic examples or a lack of examples can undermine your position and result in a lower score. Make sure to integrate examples seamlessly into your argument.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!