What drives your interest in applying for the IISMA program

As a student in Indonesia, I feel that the education system here has many shortcomings. From elementary school to college, what is always emphasized by teachers and lecturers is just grades. For me, grades are not important; what matters is the process of understanding. Students often seek ways to get perfect grades without considering whether those methods are good or bad. I even daydreamed about whether advanced countries face similar challenges. From there arose my curiosity and enthusiasm to go to developed countries and learn more about the education system there.
That is
the basis of my desire to apply to IISMA, where there are many opportunities to delve deeper into culture, differences, and tolerance.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea with supporting details.
task achievement
Your essay does not fully develop all parts of the task. Expand on your ideas, offer specific examples, and ensure that your reasons and results are clear and fully explained.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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