What drives your interest in applying for the IISMA program

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As a student in Indonesia, I feel that the education system here has many shortcomings. From elementary school to college, what is always emphasized by teachers and lecturers is just grades. For me, grades are not important; what matters is the process of understanding. Students often seek ways to get perfect grades without considering whether those methods are good or bad. I even daydreamed about whether advanced countries face similar challenges. From there arose my curiosity and enthusiasm to go to developed countries and learn more about the education system there.

That is

Linking Words

the basis of my desire to apply to IISMA, where there are many opportunities to delve deeper into culture, differences, and tolerance.

Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Sat Dec 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea with supporting details.

task achievement

Your essay does not fully develop all parts of the task. Expand on your ideas, offer specific examples, and ensure that your reasons and results are clear and fully explained.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

115 words

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What drives your interest in applying for the IISMA program

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people dislike changes in their society and in their lives,and want things to stay the same. why do some people want things to stay the same? why should change be regarded as something positive?

While some believe that the best way to learn about current events is through newspapers, others think that they can learn news better through other forms of media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school?