The charts below show the percentage of students joining North West University.

#show #percentage #students #west #university

The pie charts illustrate the proportion of

students

that are joining

North West

Add a hyphen

North-West

show examples

University and the percentages of

ethnicity

Add an article

the ethnicity

show examples

of art

students

in the university.

Overall

, the most significant proportion

is belonging

Wrong verb form

belongs to

show examples

the faculty of

arts

while

the lowest is calculated for medicine. The vast majority of foreign

students

who are joining

arts

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

from South America. The majority of

students

who are joining North West University

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

attending

Arts

, Computing and Science, with 23%, 22% and 21% of the total

students

respectively. The proportion of Business is almost 15%

while

the ratio of Engineering is nearly a tenth. The remaining two programs, Medicine and Law,

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

only

accounted

Wrong verb form

account

show examples

for minor fractions. There are five different

ethnicity

Change to a plural noun

ethnicities

show examples

for foreign

Arts

students

and the most dominant one is South Americans with just under 80%. It is followed by Europeans with just over a fifth,

however

, the remaining nationalities, Asians, Africans,

Australians

Correct word choice

and Australians

show examples

are varying

Wrong verb form

vary

show examples

between 2 and 6

percents

Fix the agreement mistake

percent

show examples

Submitted by historicalpen on Sat Dec 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, arts with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enrollment
demographics
percentages
academic year
trends
gender distribution
faculties
departments
domestic
international
academic disciplines
economic conditions
scholarship
reputation
growth
parity
data analysis
popularity
external factors
predictive modeling

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The charts below show the percentage of students joining North West University.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaces with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old building? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The crime nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance in technology which can help prevent and solve crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to observations, some animal species have become extinct or endangered in recent decades. What are reasons behind this tendency? What effects it may have on ecosystem in general?

QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.