Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific examples to support your preference.

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Learning has been a part of our

life

Use synonyms

and there are some methods to learn. The majority of

people

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argue that getting advice from family and

friends

Use synonyms

is the best way to learn. On the other side, the others consider

people

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should learn from

life

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experience.

Although

Linking Words

both opinions bring positive impacts, personally, I believe that personal experience is a key to learning about

life

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. Accepting suggestions from family and

friends

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makes some mistakes that could possibly be avoided. The reason for

this

Linking Words

is that sometimes

people

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tend to think arrogantly during making decisions.

In addition

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new ideas from

the

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apply

show examples

others could have existed that

lead

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led

show examples

to decision-making .

For example

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, my friend was totally afraid when the majority of her classmates already knew where the universities they wanted to attend. She wanted to go to her dream college but she was not sure about that. She almost followed her friend's judgement to join her college, but her parents and

friends

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kept supporting her to think twice.

As a result

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, she decided to keep her dream and

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

the end, her dream was successfully reached.

On the other hand

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, real-

life

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experiences

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create strong soldiers. Most of the individuals who suffer from many bad pains mostly have more pieces of knowledge. They generally know what to do for the next steps of their lives.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when facing various problems, they tend to be

more calm

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calmer

show examples

that

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show examples

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

of past

experiences

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. To illustrate, research shows that 70% of the population who have many troubles usually have

the

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show examples

stronger mentality to solve problems in the future.

Therefore

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, it is likely possible to study from past

experiences

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. In conclusion, listening to advice from family and

friends

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or experiencing something in real

life

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is not horrible. It depends on the humans to make a choice.

However

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, in my opinion, I think the more

people

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have many

life

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experiences

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, the more mature they will be.

ieltswriting91Sat Dec 30 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion were somewhat clear, but further refinement could enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas fully and provide more detailed examples. The examples you provided were relevant but could be more specific and more deeply explored to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your essay in a logical way. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a sequence that is easy to follow. Work on linking your ideas more naturally and cohesively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to show relationships between ideas and to help the reader follow your argument. While cohesive devices were used, greater variety and precision could improve the flow.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leverage
wisdom
pitfalls
informed decisions
trials and errors
impactful
memorable
foster
resilience
navigate
guidance
well-rounded
anecdotal evidence
theoretical
persuasive

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Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What problems does this cause? How can this problem be overcome?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.