In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development

At present, companies are often bringing out

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new features

about

Change preposition

show examples

their

products

to highlight as their marketing strategy because

this

makes these stand out to their

customers

. From my point of view, it is acceptable as long as these advertisements

are

Verb problem

show examples

not

exaggerating

Wrong verb form

exaggerate

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

what is new in reality. As for the strategy highlighting the new values of

products

, the

manufactures

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

show examples

need it to draw prospects' attention to what they may have been seeking but did not exist in other

products

within the same category produced by their competitors. For that reason, the objective

customers

that the

products

are targeted for can be filtered and attracted to bring the expected revenues to the

businesses

For example

, when Samsung released their first folded smartphone that served the demand of

customers

wanting the touch screen size to remain yet

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

portable

simuntanously

Correct your spelling

simultaneously

, Apple, as their direct competitor, lost around 25% of their

customers

interested in that unique feature to them.

Besides

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

how beneficial

this

phenomenon can be to

businesses

, I think to some extent it should not be harmful towards the consumers. In

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

, the level of advertising used to promote how

newer

Replace the word

new

show examples

their

products

are should be appropriate. As soon as

this

is exaggerated to meet the sales goals but does not actually do its job, the consumers may be the first

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

to lose their money. Yet

as a result

, the

businesses

are the next ones to be at the receiving end

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

lose their

customers

' trust and future purchases. In conclusion, the constantly advertised new features of

products

results

Correct subject-verb agreement

result

show examples

from the

neccessity

Correct your spelling

necessity

of being outstanding among the others of the

businesses

and of course

also

to catch the attention of those consumers who have sought for these to solve their problems. With the nature of benefiting the

businesses

' end, I wish the

customers

' end will not be harmed by the sometimes

exarggeration

Correct your spelling

exaggeration

of the advertising of

products

that do not really

meat

Correct your spelling

meet

show examples

the promised expectation.

Submitted by camcat.viking on Sat Dec 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents some logical sequence and structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, more attention to linking words and transitions could improve the flow of ideas. Consider varying your connectors and ensuring that paragraphs seamlessly lead from one to the next for enhanced cohesion.

task achievement

The response to the task is adequate but lacks full development of ideas. To elevate your score, expand your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Ensure examples are fully relevant and that you answer all parts of the question with equal attention, reflecting on both the positive and negative aspects as requested.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

emphasise
advertising
products
innovation
competitive strategy
consumer dissatisfaction
value

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many countries tourism is an important part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage. Some people believe that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
touristry, being a weighty part of the economy in a lot of countries, caused a bad environmental impact and destroyed important communities. Historical places and picturesque sites are dying out. A number of believed that it is better that people who travel pay an extra payment to compensate for those environmental effects,
5.5
band
You have seen an advertisement for a community college that needs teachers for night classes. Write a letter to the community college. In your letter: say which advertisement you are answering describe which course(s) you want to teach, and what it/they would be about explain why you would be a suitable teacher
I am writing in response to an advertisement published by community college in Ontario Daily Newspaper. It came to my notice that college requires teachers to host night classes and I am willing to apply for the position.
4
band
Some people think that young people are suitable for learning foreign languages. Some people think adults are more suitable. Discuss both and give your opinion.
A number of people are of opinion that young minds are the best suit for aspiring foreign language while the others are thinking adults will make it a good choice. The younger generation has a growing and flexible brain to acquire new skills. On the other hand, grown-up citizens have the maturity and experience in gaining knowledge.Will elaborate further on the topic in the forthcoming paragraphs, but I think it should be an individualized decision considering the strengths and weaknesses of the candidate.
7
band
Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals firmly believe that young people cannot play a vital role in the administration, whereas others think they must be responsible for the crucial positions in the company. I am of the opinion that both attitudes are understandable. The essay is about to discuss these two views and elaborate on my own perspectives.
5
band
Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is generally accepted among workers that working three to four days a week is more beneficial for workers than five to six days at work. I think working fewer days a week will help to establish and balance work and personal life, and working 3-4 days a week will increase productivity and improve the quality of work.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries tourism is an important part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage. Some people believe that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that young people are suitable for learning foreign languages. Some people think adults are more suitable. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.