IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some companies require their employees to wear a uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#companies #employees #uniform
Nowadays it is
requirement
Add an article
a requirement
the requirement
show examples
 from employers of different companies for the employees to have a dress code or standardized clothing.
This
 demand has both benefits,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
image
 with equality and safety, and drawbacks,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
expresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
express
show examples
 the lack of
individuality
 and,
also
, comfort and fit
issues
. Some organizations are advantageous
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 having a certain
image
, including equality and security. Specifically, when the organization has a demand
that is
 connected with
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
image
, it is clear for the employees to be presentable and for the company to have a band representation.
For instance
, the company of Nike has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 brand and almost all specialists of
this
 company, beginning from manufacturers and ending with shop assistants,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all follow the rule and principle of neat appearance.
Moreover
, it can strengthen team spirit which eliminates any kind of discrimination. Having these factors of dress code, employees feel themselves more protective and it is easy to distinguish them from the visitors or customers.
However
, there are
also
 some downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 development
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
includes
Replace the word
including
show examples
 the lack of
individuality
 and
issues
, that are connected with comfort. If it comes for the first negative side, it
contents
Replace the word
contains
show examples
 some kinds of uniformity and monotony, where at the same time the individuals cannot express
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 interests,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
concludes
Verb problem
results
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of
individuality
.
In addition
, some
issues
 that have potential discomfort and limited choices can be the consequences of implementing the idea of uniformity of clothes. Put simply, sometimes wearing the same clothes in one place can be restrictive and limit the choice, bringing some unsatisfied emotional well-being. Relying on these matters, the people, who have the same clothes as a uniform, may have some
issues
 connected with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuality
 and comfort In conclusion, there are some positive things in wearing a uniform with having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 professional
image
 and brand, but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
this
 improvement has some negative sides,
mentioned
Correct word choice
as mentioned
show examples
 above.
Submitted by zavkidm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction fully paraphrases the question and presents a clear opinon or approach to answering the question posed. While your introduction is present, it needs to directly address the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure that your essay flows more naturally from one point to another. This will also help to make the structure of your arguments clearer, thereby boosting your score for coherence.
Task Achievement
In presenting arguments, try to provide clear, real-world examples to support each point you make. While you have attempted to do so, the examples require more detailed development and relevance to the specific context of workplace uniform policies.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: