IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary Schools since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary Schools since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #schools #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given maps illustrate the comparison of West
Park
 Secondary
School
 in three years, which are 1950, 1980, and 2010. Generally speaking,
it is clear that
houses
 and farmland
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 removed in the next years,
while
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 road stays the same. In 1950, West
Park
 Secondary
School
 was divided into four sections.
First,
there were
houses
 built on the
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
side
 of the map,
then
 the
school
 building was constructed next to the
houses
, both
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
on the
side
 of the main road. On the bottom of the map, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 farmland on the left
side
 and
playground
Correct article usage
a playground
show examples
 on the right
side
. Thirty years later, in 1980,
houses
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 replaced by
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
park
 and science
blok
Correct your spelling
club
 which is the part of the
school
 building that
constructed
Add a missing verb
was constructed
show examples
 between
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
park
 and the main building of the
school
.
Moreover
, farmland is demolished to construct a sports field. Meanwhile,
Correct article usage
the playground
show examples
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
 still
existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 year.
Furthermore
, in 2010,
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
park
 was enlarged until almost dominated
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the map.
On the other hand
,
playground
Add an article
the playground
a playground
show examples
 was diminished because of the replacement of
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 which was diminished too.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words park, school, houses, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
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